I have this ritual when I get to work. Sit down, wait for my computer to load, finish my breakfast shake, check my e-mails, and then open up all the browsers/documents I am going to need for the first half of the day.
And then, because there isn’t a whole lot going on in my day-to-day, I pull out my headphones and open up the podcast app on my phone.
I always start with The Daily. It’s a quick briefing on what’s been going on in our world. And, though I am typically aware of the previous day’s events (thank you Twitter and Breaking News), Michael Barbaro, the host, will hold interviews or dive deeper into a specific issue.
It’s quick and gives me the main rundown on the things I should know.
Then, if there’s an episode of Pod Save America, I’ll usually listen to that next. Mainly because those guys aren’t afraid to use the EFF word when talking about our current administration. And I just LOVE that.
Since those two touch on current events, I like to stay up-to-date with those.
But then I have some podcasts I subscribe to that I can listen to at any time. This American Life, Reply All, Revisionist History, Happier, and most recently, Yoga Girl’s From The Heart.
I discovered this podcast through a friend’s Instagram story. She highly recommended it and I can totally see why.
Rachel Brathen (Yoga Girl) is so calming. And peaceful. And when you listen to her podcast, it feels like you’re having a heart-to-heart conversation with a close friend. It’s brought me to tears several times because she’s so real. The most recent episode I listened to was about body image and making lifestyle changes from a place of love. I honestly had to get up and leave my office a few times because I started to get so emotional hearing her talk about something that has been (and probably always will be) a sensitive issue for me.
The reason I bring up my morning “podcast routine” is this.
I have subscribed to Gretchen Rubin’s podcast, Happier, since it first started. I became a fan of hers after reading The Happiness Project so when I heard she was starting up her own podcast, I jumped on board. Well, after about 10-15 episodes, it started getting repetitive. And Gretchen Rubin’s voice is actually a little bit rough to listen to for an hour straight. But I have continued to listen to it for two years.
I don’t know why.
It doesn’t bring me joy.
It doesn’t provide me with any new inspiration or leave me feeling particularly excited about what I just heard.
In fact, I think it does the opposite. I think it annoys me more than anything else.
But, I have continued listening to episode after episode after episode.
So, yesterday, when my heart exploded with fireworks and love and all the feels after listening to Rachel Brathen’s podcast, I decided to go to my podcast feed and unsubscribe from Happier and the other podcasts that aren’t really serving me.
This seems like such a small, trivial action that isn’t deserving of a lengthy post like this one.
But it does.
Because this issue I have with my podcast selection is exactly what keeps me stuck doing things I don’t love doing and living a life that is not genuine to me.
I keep podcasts and relationships and things around that don’t serve me and don’t add any value to my life.
I don’t really know why I do it. Part of me feels like if I’ve invested so much time and energy into it, I should just carry it along with me for the rest of my life. Regardless of the negative vibes they might give me over time.
And part of me fears that if I don’t have it around, I am going to miss something vital. Something important. Something I just can’t possibly do without.
So I’m attracting this negative, fearful energy. Because I’m afraid to LET THINGS GO when it’s time for them to leave.
Anyway, this is clearly not just about the podcast.
It’s an issue I have with listening to my heart.
But, yesterday, I finally turned inward and thought about just how much time and energy I’m wasting on things that aren’t actually leaving me fulfilled. And how I drag my way through things because I feel like I have to. That’s a pretty terrible way to live your life.
“UGH. I HATE DOING THIS THING AND I HAVE FULL CONTROL OF MY CHOICES. I CAN CHOOSE NOT TO DO IT BUT I’M GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE….”
After two and a half years, I felt pretty freaking proud to have pushed the “Unsubscribe” button.
Questions of the Day:
- What podcasts do you listen to?
- Is it easy for you to push the “Unsubscribe” button on things that don’t serve you?