Park with Auntie Bella

We’re making gains, folks.

Bella and I decided to take Ishu to the park yesterday. Figuring that if I left him in his favorite place ever, it’d be a little easier. We got there around 9:15am. I hung around for about 10 minutes and then left to make it home before my 10am meeting.

It felt so bizarre to walk away from him. The short 5-minute walk home felt weird because I wasn’t pushing a stroller. In fact, it was pretty comical because, well, there are a few ways to enter our building. Most people use the revolving door. But I NEVER use the revolving door because how can I? I’ve usually got a stroller with me. So I use the door to the right. The one that has a button that you can push and it automatically opens the door for you.

So, as I walked into my building, I laughed to myself because the button wasn’t working and I stood there for a few seconds, pushing it over and over again until it finally worked. Instead of opening up the door with my hands. Or using the revolving doors. Because I think my brain has gotten so used to doing it this one way that I completely forgot that I wasn’t limited to going in that way.

ANYWAY, that’s a lot of blabber to simply say that, yes, it kind of feels like a limb is missing when I’m not with Ishu.

Even though I have alone time on the weekends when Ankur is with him. It just felt strange.

But, even though it was weird, there was so much comfort in knowing that I left him with someone who – I can already tell! – loves him so much.

They came home two hours later and he smiled so big when I opened up the door. He ate a popsicle while mama carried on doing her work and it was, quite possibly, the most productive day since I first started!

I can’t even explain to you what sort of warm, fuzzy feelings I have going on on my insides.

It’s just the most comforting feeling to know that there’s another human I can trust with this little heart of mine. And I’m so incredibly grateful.