Good morning!

I had planned to share a recap of all the events this weekend. But, per usual, I become a bit wordy when it comes to sharing things and, well, I gotta break it up into parts. But, let’s talk about Saturday!

On Saturday morning, we were all running around getting ready to leave for Chino. The dads were drinking chai, watching the Tennis Channel, waiting for the rest of us to finish getting ready.

As I was packing up our diaper bag with all of Ishu’s things, I could see – from the corner of my eye – Nani hustling over to the garage door.

I helped her down the step and she sat down on the bench to put her shoes on. She smiled real wide and loudly proclaimed that she was the first one ready to go.

I got the honor of driving the birthday girl. The drive took a little longer than usual because the onramp to the freeway was closed and I kept driving around, thinking I was clever because I could find a different way, only to find another closed on-ramp.

But no matter.

Because we can’t possibly be late to the party if our car’s got the birthday girl in it, right? The party starts when she gets there.

We had a nice welcoming crew when we got there and Nani was escorted to the backyard to be greeted by everyone waiting for her. The guest of honor!

Ishu had fallen asleep in the car so he was a little slow to warm up.

But his mama, on the other hand, was really freaking excited to be reunited with everyone. I know we all just saw one another in August for Arjun and Sherene’s wedding. But still. With everyone’s crazy work schedules and now with kiddos in school, it’s impossible to have every single person at events these days. Which is exactly why we tried to jam-pack the weekend with other celebrations. Who knows when 100% of Just Cuz and JAMIVA would be together next?!

The thing that I find most endearing about the events our family puts on – whether it be our wedding in my parents’ backyard or this havan in the Chino backyard – is that it’s chaotic and not-at-all formal. You can try as you might to set up chairs and create the illusion of a quiet ceremony.

But the kids will be zooming around the backyard on their bikes. A family member will get up and move around to take pictures. Another kid will be hungry so a mom or a dad will run inside to grab a snack. Three guests decide they’re too hot so they move inside to sit at the dining table and watch from the window.

It sounds like I’m being sarcastic when I read that back out loud.

But I’m absolutely not. It’s what I love about our crazy, higgledy-piggledy family.

If an outsider peered over the fence to look in the backyard that day, they’d likely wonder who the celebration was for. After all, only half the attendees were sitting on chairs watching the pooja take place. The rest of us – myself included – were standing in the back, following their kids around the backyard, or running in and out of the house to grab things.

You could argue that, by doing all that, by not fully attending to the pooja, we weren’t exactly celebrating the birthday girl.

I’d argue the opposite.

I’d say that every single thing taking place in that space was a celebration of Nani.

Her great-grandkids running in circles. Her grandkids trying to feed their children and make sure they weren’t going to dive into the pool.

We had Mamas and Papas spoon-feeding their kiddos khichdi, Nanis and Dadis singing Itsy-Bitsy spider to their grandbabies, a revolving bedroom door where people took their kids up to nap for a bit.

We had mirchi paneer and masala dosa, hot cacao and masala chai, and pistachio kulfi and birthday cake.

In the late afternoon/early evening, the kids used the sound system to karaoke to Hamilton and Michael Jackson. There was dancing and lip syncing and crying and laughter and so much palpable love and joy shared on that special day.

It was all a celebration of Nani.

The community. The loud, in-your-face and in-your-space village of people that are connected to one another because of their shared love for this woman.

We’ve never done well with sit-down and stay-quiet events. We’re loud. We’re proud. We’re a product of this beautiful human.

Good morning!

It’s Monday! And this Monday feels different than other Mondays. It feels like there is going to be a big, big distinction between weekdays and weekends now that Ishu is in school.

In a good way.

This weekend was officially the start of fall and Chicago understood the assignment. Temperatures have dropped and we bundled up all weekend long.

Saturday

Ishu’s class had a trip to the zoo planned on Saturday morning! The timing of that worked out pretty well. They do these family trips/events quarterly and it just so happened that it landed the Saturday after his first week of school.

Which was nice because I think it’ll help with this transition after weekend.

Who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t have been hard for him today without that event. But it was nice that he got to spend time with them in an unstructured setting and with his mama and papa there! It was also nice to meet some of the other parents as well.

We broke away around nap time and then, after he woke, we made our way over to Lakeshore Park to watch Midnight Circus.

It was a fun, free event for families and we got to watch about half of it before Ishu thought it’d be fun to stick a leaf up his nose.

And then I couldn’t find it.

But he kept saying it was still in there.

So we made our way home, Ankur attempted to look up there a few times, and eventually, after four sneezes, the leaf came out.

There hasn’t been a TON of putting-things-up-his-nose incidents. But last week was a black bean. And this week, the leaf.

I always joke with people that it confuses me so much when Ishu does things like this because, in some ways, he’s SO aware of consequences and is extra careful before jumping into things. But then things like this happen and I think, “Yes. You and your curious little brain are very much 2 years old.”

Sunday

On Sunday, Ishu and I made our way over to Gallagher Way next to the Cubs Stadium. They were having a Rock and Roll Playhouse concert right outside Wrigley Field.

We got there extra early and had fun throwing the ball around the grass field. We also spent 5 bucks on a bag of Cheetos and I made sure he REALLY ENJOYED THE HECK OUT OF THOSE to make every penny worth it. Ha.

Ishu’s always loved music and dancing, but after the three consecutive weekends of weddings this summer, I think that love for dancing has only grown.

But, in true Ishu fashion, in the middle of all the dancing, he inched closer and closer to the speaker, curious about the vibrations and the fact that the sound was amplified.

When he did this, it reminded me so much of his cousin, Veeru, who was always so curious about HOW things happened. I remember we once took Veer to the zoo or to some animal safari type thing near their house, and instead of being excited about the video they were showing us, he kept searching around the room – on the ceiling and on the walls – to figure out where the sound was coming from.

I love these little curious babies. Well, when they’re not shoving things up their nose, y’know?

Though, I can see how some would argue that the curiosity about the speakers and the curiosity about what happens to objects when they get put in our nose is probs one and the same.

Anyway, the leaf sniffer is up and I better get him ready for school today. It’s a big day for him; we are sending him to school in UNDERWEAR.

Here we go.

My toddler is growing up.

Yesterday, Ankur got the day off work. We originally had plans to hang out with the family, but he’s been working long days and not sleeping through the night (hey, three-month-old in the house!). So, I think he was very content with just sitting at home doing absolutely nothing.

(On his last day off, he did our taxes so, again, the idea of doing nothing and going nowhere sounded very appealing to him).

We got to sleep in a bit. Ankur woke up around 7am (normally, his alarm goes off at 3:30am). And, since I had woken up at 5am to feed the baby, I went back to sleep until 8:30 which felt like such a treat! We celebrated the nice, slow start to our morning with homemade breakfast sandwiches.

Ishaan was very pleased when he woke up from his nap and saw that his papa was still at home.

Seriously – the expression he makes when he sees his papa is like the B-E-S-T thing in the world.

Around lunch time, I went over to pick up Chipotle bowls. Even though our fridge is fully stocked (thank you mama!), we had to take advantage of a free meal that was expiring. (Side note: It’s been a H-O-T minute since I’ve had a fountain soda. It tastes even more wonderful than I remember).

We spent the rest of the day cleaning and relaxing and playing with the little guy.

We got him these new silicone mittens that will, hopefully, come in handy when he starts teething. For now, they serve as a helpful tool to cover his hands until we can get around to cutting his nails. (And by “we,” I mean Ankur. Because I can’t do that sh*t. It’s too scary for me).

It’ll be another week until Ankur gets another day off. This month has been super busy for him. Hopefully things calm down a bit next month when he’s on a different schedule.

In other news, my dad has discovered how to subscribe to this blog and get posts in his e-mail.

He’s also figured out how to comment on posts and it’s my favorite.

I’m hoping to pop on here more frequently (hopefully during one of his nap times!) to share these day-to-day updates. When I used to blog daily, I wrote so many posts about my nephew, Veer. It’s nice having that housed here to look back on milestones and random weekends we had together. I’d like to be able to do the same with Ishaan!

We’ll see. It was a lot easier to blog back when I spent the weekend with Veer and then drove back to my own apartment and had oodles of down time. Now I’m the mama in this relationship and Ishaan dictates where and how much time I get to do this stuff.

At the very least, we’ll be back for the monthly updates. 🙂

This was a pretty wonderful weekend for so many reasons. It was filled with some of my favorite people so I wanted to share some snapshots before the craziness of this week begins!

Friday

It’s been a LONG-a** time since I’ve been to Salinas to hang out with the babies. Prior to meeting Ankur, I used to spend most of my weekends hanging out with Veer. I got to have front row seats to every single milestone that kid hit. We grew so close, so fast because I spent so many weekends with him and it made me sad that we moved to Tennessee and I couldn’t do that for the other little ones in the family. Anyway, I was really excited to get some quality time with the not-so-little-babies.

It was Jiya’s birthday on Thursday so I drove there right after work on Friday and surprised her at school. And then we moseyed on over to Veer’s school and had a fun little surprise there as well.

Veer gave me a tour of his school and I got to see his classroom (along with this cute self-portrait that actually looks exactly like him. The hair and glasses and all).

After the tour, we got food and then went to a family night that his school was hosting at the roller skating rink. (And by “we all,” I mean I tagged along and went out on the rink in my UGG boots because I don’t trust myself to not face-plant when attempting to roller skate right now).

A couple hours later, we made our way home and we got to play a few games on Veer’s new Nintendo Switch. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I’m pretty epic at Mario Kart. Even though my face may not show it.

And THEN, I got a little surprise of my own!

After dinner, Bhaiya got a page that one of his patients was having complications and was in the ICU. He got dressed and said he’d have to go to the hospital for an hour or two. (This is not unusual when you’re a surgeon so I didn’t even question it).

While he was gone, Bhabhi and I hung out on the couch talking for an hour or so. I was also waiting for Ankur to text me that he had reached home safely. He’s been doing a rotation in SoCal this month and he had an interview in Arizona that day and was flying back to SoCal right after the interview. He had texted that he had landed and that his phone was dying so he’d call me when he got home and could charge it.

And then, a couple minutes later, we hear the front door open. Both Bhabhi and I looked at each other and said, “Okay, great, Bhaiya’s home.” I was planning to stand up and head to bed and then, all of a sudden, I hear my husband’s voice saying, “Oh, hello!” I was so shocked and confused and all I managed to say was, “WHAT? How did this happen?”

Anyway, Bhabhi was the secret little elf that paged Bhaiya. And Bhaiya did NOT go to the hospital; he went to the airport. That’s the second time in the last few months that Ankur has managed to fly home and surprise me. Which is funny because I have my settings set up on my iPhone that allow me to see his location all the time. Clearly, I’m not doing a great job at stalking him.

So, you can imagine that the exhaustion in me completely disappeared after he walked in the door. And I was ready to take shots of tequila. Except you can’t do that when you’re pregnant. So I encouraged others to celebrate with whiskey and more Mario Kart. A great combination.

Saturday

On Saturday, we woke up and surprised Veer and Jiya. WE were playing in the living room and then Ankur Fufu walked in from the other room and totally surprised them. It was so much fun to watch. What can I say? We’re a family of surprises.

Bhaiya had to go make rounds, but before he left, he made us some delicious coffee. If you haven’t read this post, you know that I had a major aversion to coffee during my first trimester and never bothered to pick it up again. But the smell was too good to turn down and it was well worth it.

Meanwhile, Bhabhi made us a delicious breakfast buffet of steel-cut oats and PB toast and two different types of scrambled eggs. And then lunch was DIY grain bowls!

To say we were spoiled is an understatement.

We spent the rest of the afternoon practicing our dances for Sister’s wedding! Can’t believe it’s all happening this weekend!

Sunday

On Sunday, we woke up nice and early (shout-out to my bladder for being my new alarm clock). We then made our way to Saratoga for Jen’s baby sprinkle!

Brunch bunch reunited.

We then made our way home, got a little work done, and then Papa Mathur and I dropped Ankur off to the airport. I didn’t even CRY THIS TIME. (This may or may not be because I will see him again in two days. Whatever).

Anyway, it’s a real short week for me but there are lots of to-dos to complete before leaving for the wedding. And then lots of to-dos to complete once I reach SoCal in preparation for the wedding.

I’m already anticipating a long, beautiful, stress-free nap in one week when the all the wedding festivities are over!

Question of the Day:

What was the highlight of your weekend?

For 10 years, I’ve been witness to this incredibly palpable, contagious, all-consuming love.

It started back in college.

Back when my little sister was too immersed in her studies to even consider dating anybody.

But he was persistent.

And he showed up. As a friend. Over and over and over. Until, one day, he became more than that.

And, last weekend, they finally made it official.

Photo Credit: Arjun Seth

It’s taken me over a week to process all the events, re-visit all the pictures, and just feel all the feels again and again and again. (It’s also taken me a week to unpack my suitcase, but let’s not talk about that…)

I wanted to write a short recap, but it ended up being much longer than I had anticipated. And this is only a small fraction of the pictures and the memories. Still, it’s always fun documenting these little behind-the-scenes moments that may not have found their way onto the videos and photo album to come!

Cancun, Here We Come!

From the second we boarded our flight to Cancun, Ankur and I were both giddy with excitement, wondering what everyone was up to since we were both the last two to arrive. We had been receiving text messages with pictures and videos during the days leading up to our flight. So we knew that when ALL of the cousins reunited, it was going to be pretty darn epic.

We landed in Cancun and got through customs relatively quickly. When we walked out of the airport, we were faced with LOTS of humidity, a happy, sweaty man selling cans of beer, and another friendly looking man carrying a BAJAJ and MISRA sign. My excitement multiplied and I looked over at Ankur and said, “There it is! Bajaj and Misra. It’s HAPPENING. It’s HAPPENING.”

It was a short drive to the resort and, once in the lobby, we were greeted – almost immediately – by the parents. They took us to the dining room to get some food before we were whisked away to our hotel rooms to start our make-up and hair and dance practice.

Once our bellies were full and our room was ready, we hopped on a golf cart to go meet up with the cousins. And the reunion was, in fact, epic. Because when you get the “Just Cuz” family under one roof after a year and a half, there is just so much love and excitement. And squealing.

We didn’t get a chance to practice our performance or our skit as a large group, so we just crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

Sangeet Night 

I may be biased here, but I was pretty impressed with our ability to come together despite practicing separately. The sangeet was filled with performances and speeches from both the Bajaj side and the Misra side.

The “Just Cuz” cousins collaborated on a skit where we analyzed their Facebook wall-to-walls way back in 2007 when they first became friends.

Everyone loved reading Vedant’s philosophical debate with Hema about the “empty bowl” of bharta. They were all smiling and nodding. Because they all have – in some way or another – been exposed to this philosophical side of Vedant. It was just so funny that he used this humor and depth to get Hema’s attention back in college.

But, it worked.

So, clearly, he did something right.

The other highlight of the night was the performance by the bride.

As if it wasn’t enough that she put together this entire four-day event – carefully paying attention to each and every tiny detail – she also had the time to come up with an amazing routine that captured the attention (and the hearts) of every single person there.

Amazing.

She’s amazing.

The rest of the night was spent on the dance floor. Even though this wasn’t technically the first official event of the wedding, it certainly felt like it because everyone had so much energy and excitement. There was mehndi being done in the corner, a pillow fight happening off stage (because, when you’re 3 years old, colorful pillows are the JAM), tequila shots being done by the bar, and dancing and connecting and hugging happening all over the darn room.

Even the cutest Nanima got up to dance a few times.

At the end of the night, the bride and groom requested that all wedding guests come outside for a fun “surprise.” It wasn’t easy to pull everyone off the dance floor, but we all wanted to follow Vedant and Hema wherever they went.

They led us to the front of the building where we all stood and watched a fireworks show that they had planned for their guests. Nobody wanted to retreat to their rooms that night; the love and the excitement of these two families merging was just buzzing all around us.

But the brothers and sisters needed to be up bright and early for the chooda ceremony, so we all eventually made it back to our rooms. And, maybe, ordered some room service before we passed out from emotional and physical exhaustion.

Chooda Ceremony

The family members woke up a few hours later and sleepily made our way over to Aurpapa and Masi’s room where we would be putting on Hema’s chooda and kalire. Every wedding has unique traditions – specific to the culture or the couple – and this one is one of my favorites.

The chooda are a set of bangles that is brought by the bride’s uncle, placed on her wrists by her parents, and then family members tie kalire (gold, umbrella-shaped hangings) to the bangles as a way of providing good wishes to the bride. (All the while, the bangles are covered up as the bride is not allowed to see them until she is in her wedding outfit).

After the kalire are tied, a bride has her unmarried friends line up and she claps her hands on top of their heads. It’s believed that if any part or the kalire falls down on top of someone, that person is going to be the next one getting married! (Similar to the bouquet toss at many other weddings).

With all the hustle and bustle and chaos weddings can bring, this is a time when family members can connect 1:1 with the bride. Even if only for a brief moment. An opportunity to privately whisper into the bride’s ear just how much you love her and cherish your relationship with her.

Despite it being 4:30 in the morning and running on absolutely NO sleep, Hema made it a point to connect with every single person there with her sleepy, yet beautiful smile. Soaking in every second before she had to start getting ready for the wedding.

Baraat and Milni

In Hindu weddings, the bride is tucked away somewhere where nobody can see her while the groom is led to the venue in a procession of his family members and friends known as the Baraat. Music is being played loudly, someone is banging on the dhol, and everyone is dancing and making THE MOST NOISE.

As the music started approaching closer and closer, all the sisters rushed out to greet the groom’s side. And, of course, more dancing took place. Hema was a sneaky little observer – watching everything unfold from the ballroom window on the second floor. Well, she thought she was being sneaky. But we could see her little head peek out from behind the curtain every so often.

At the end of the baraat was the groom himself. And Veer, of course. I couldn’t decide who was more excited. Vedant – for being minutes away from marrying the love of his life. Or Veer – for getting to join his Fufu on the horse.

Might have been a tie.

After the baraat was over and the dancing calmed down (and our make-up was nearly wiped from all our faces), it was time for the “milni.” This is when the men from both sides of the family “meet” one another. The men from the bride’s side welcome the men from the groom’s side by exchanging flower garlands. It’s also an opportunity for all the guests to see how each person is related to the bride and groom!

The Shaadi! (Wedding)

After the milni, it was time for everyone to head up to the mandip where the marriage ceremony would take place. Originally, the ceremony was supposed to take place on the beach. However, due to a high chance of rain, they moved it to a covered location. None of that mattered though because everything was still so unbelievably beautiful. Their back-up plan looked better than most people’s Plan A’s. But, more than anything, we were all just excited to watch this union happen – no matter what the setting around us looked like.

People quickly sat down – eager to watch the ceremony unfold. Vedant walked out from behind the crowd with Aurpapa and Masi. To THIS SONG. (Seriously. Top three highlights of the wedding. Amazing).

Then, this not-so-little munchkin followed suit.

With a nice little message for the groom.

The bride was then led out to the mandip by her brothers and her papa. She slowly made her way down the aisle as everyone got up out of their seats, tears falling from their eyes. Aurpapa was so emotional as they made their way closer and closer to the mandip. Vedant even had tears in his eyes as he watched Hema approach him. But then, out of nowhere, the music changed to a more upbeat song (Paalkhi Mein Hoke) which basically translates to, “I’m ready to go get married. My heart is so happy. Try to stop me if you can. But you probably can’t so I’ll just keep dancing my way to my love’s home.”

It was perfectly Hema.

This moment – in most weddings – is a somber, serious moment because, metaphorically speaking, the bride is leaving behind her family as she marries into a new one.

And Hema was down to be somber and serious for a little bit.

But she switched her tune about halfway through (literally and figuratively) because she knew that this was such an exciting moment and needed to be celebrated in a fun, festive way.

Everyone immediately switched from tears to laughter.

That was my personal favorite moment of the entire wedding. Because it was so reflective of Hema and her personality and her impact on those around her.

From tears to laughter. That’s what Hema does.

Eventually, everyone made their way back to their seats and Hema and Vedant settled in up at the mandip with their parents and the pundit. Before they began their seven rounds around the fire, the pundit made sure to remind Vedant, “After this happens, you cannot run here and there. It’s a one-way street.”

Vedant got the message loud and clear.

It was a traditional Hindu ceremony, but at the end of it all, the pundit asked Hema and Vedant to say a few words to one another. It was a really intimate moment and I felt like we were all eavesdropping on something so special. Vedant thanked Hema for being the light in his life. Hema thanked Vedant for being her person in more ways than one. In better, more eloquent words. But I can barely remember them because I was sniffling so much and trying to make sure my make-up didn’t run down my face from all the crying.

It was such a special hour shared with people who love them the MOST.

Once the wedding was over and photos were taken, we had a few hours to hang out before the reception began. The girls all congregated in one room to re-do their faces and hair. And the boys decided to go swimming. Eventually, the boys came back from the pool and settled down in the hot tub. Which was IN the make-up/hair room.

It made me laugh when I walked in and observed what was going on. Hairdryers going off, make-up being applied, girls pinning up their chunnis, and in the corner of the room, Arjun and Bhanu in a big bubble bath.

Our loud, crazy family never fails to make me laugh.

Once we were all ready to go, we made our way over to the lobby of the resort for the cocktail hour and the reception.

When the new Mr. and Mrs. Misra walked into the room, it completely lit up.

Hema looked like a fairytale princess. Vedant looked like her fairtyale prince.

Her smile never left her face. When both her papas gave their speeches. When Bhaiya got up to give a toast. The father-daughter dance. The SURPRISE when all her friends – from all different phases of her life – suddenly got on stage and did one of the coolest, coordinated bhangra routines. TOGETHER. How they pulled that off, I have no idea.

She was sentimental and emotional, sure. But the smile never faded.

She was the happiest I’ve ever seen her.

Last weekend, Hema and Vedant brought together the best of the best people. All their people in one place. All the people that love them separately and love them together.

So many special moments shared.

But, more importantly, THE LOVE experienced was unlike any other.

From her family. From her friends. Heck, even the vendors were head-over-heels-in-love with Hema and Vedant by the end of the weekend.

It’s hard not to be.

When you’re a part of Hema and Vedant’s tribe, you know you’re a part of something special.

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

 

If you’ve been reading this blog for some time, you may be pretty familiar with Veer, my nephew. The first of the next generation. Our brilliant little scientist who now runs his own channel on YouTube.

Back when I lived in the Bay Area, I spent nearly every weekend in Monterey/Salinas. Watching this little baby develop into the big 6-year old he is now.

So it’s weird that he keeps growing and developing when I’m not around to watch it happen.

But thankfully, we’ve got Facetime and other forms of technology to keep us in the loop. Yesterday, Ankur and I Facetimed the Bajaj Juniors and got to hear about his first visit from the tooth fairy.

$5. A toothbrush. And a note.

That’s a dedicated tooth fairy.

Anyway, our short conversation with him flooded me with ALL the emotions. I was brought back to so many of our shared memories and experiences.

Prior to being Veer’s mama, Bhabhi was a teacher.

So it made sense that she brought all the “best practices of teaching” into their home. 

Positive reinforcement, constant conversations around the WHYs and WHY NOTs, and teaching Veer how to effectively communicate his wants and needs.

Encouraging his persistence and effort with quick and specific feedback.

“You are doing it!”

“Oh wooooow. Look at you read that word!”

“GOOD JOB Veer! Keep going!”

After some time, these encouragements and reassuring expressions were eventually written into the wiring of Veer’s brain.

You could be in the middle of playing basketball with him and, all of a sudden, if the ball even skimmed the rim of his Fisher-Price basketball net, you would see him throw his little toddler hands up in the air and scream, “Oh wooooooow!”

During a difficult time finishing up dinner, he would look up at me and say, “Good job Veer-u!” as he polished off another slice of cucumber.

Any time something was frustrating for him, he would mimic the voices of his parents and say, “Keep going!” or “You can do it!”

It was like the action (A) and the encouragement (B) were no longer two distinct things.

He was doing A. So he gave himself B.

He didn’t need anyone to provide B for him.

His brain had been wired to know that A and B went hand-in-hand.

And he didn’t need to wait for his mama or papa to give him B anymore.

He just knew that if he was attempting to do A, B should be right there to help with A.

I hope that that never changes.

I hope he will always find the support and encouragement he needs within himself.

It’s something that I always admired about my now-6-year-old nephew. Something I wish I did more of myself. Encouraging myself and telling myself I CAN.

There are some lessons that only a toddler can teach you.

And I’m so lucky to have had this one in my life.

Questions of the Day:

• Do you have/Have you had a toddler in your life that’s teaching you how to live your best life?
  
• What are some ways you reflect and give yourself the positive pep talk you need?