My Nani. My Companion. Finding True Happiness with Age.
I’ve been spending a lot of time with my Nanima while I’ve been home for the summer.
Normally I don’t get this much quality 1:1 time with her since I have to share her with the whole family.
But, since I get the summer off, she’s really my sole companion throughout July. And I couldn’t be happier to get these few precious weeks with her.
Yesterday, after spending 7 hours indoors, I could feel myself getting a little bit antsy. A little bit less patient. Not with her. But with the situation of being stuck inside.
So, as soon as my Mom got home from work, I abruptly told her I was going for a walk and left through the open garage with my mom staring out after me.
I just walked around the neighborhood, watching the skies change color as the sun went down. I felt selfish for leaving everyone behind, but it brought me so much JOY just to be outside and watch the sunset.
Eventually, my mind shifted back to home and I felt guilty for feeling impatient. I started walking back toward the house while trying to come up with a list of things that I knew brought my Nanima the same kind of joy I was experiencing.
Finding True Happiness with Age
You see, my Nanima is legally blind. She doesn’t get to sit out in the backyard and look up at the sky and watch as it changes colors. She doesn’t get to see all the little critters moving around, the reflection of the water as the sun hits the surface, or the tiny boats setting sail off in the distance.
Nani doesn’t get joy from the same things. Because they aren’t the same experience for her.
This made me angry.
Furious. Frustrated. That she couldn’t experience my level of joy. That she doesn’t get to have that same giddy feeling that I get when I’m outdoors.
But then I stopped and really thought about when I’ve seen my Nanima at her most giddy (if you will).
Finding True Happiness with Grandkids
Nanima has come to terms with the fact that she will no longer see things as she once did. But that doesn’t mean that she has stopped experiencing joy. She gets joy when her kids call her to check in on her once or twice a day [She’s a hip Nani with a cell phone]. She gets joy when her grandkids tell her that she was right and it was really helpful to bring that sweater along to dinner because it got chilly in the evening. She gets joy when she is sitting next to us, eating a Subway sandwich and drinking a soda with it.
So, by the end of the walk, I was feeling a lot less angry. And more proactive about how I can make sure that these few weeks with Nani are spent doing things that really, truly, bring her the most joy.
Because joy, for Nani, is our family. Our pointless chatter. Our never-ending stories.
Joy, for Nani, is a phone call telling her that we were thinking of her. Missing her. Hearing that she’s valued. Appreciated. Loved.
But, above all, joy for Nani is OUR TIME.
The most challenging gift to give, but the most valuable.
She deserves nothing less.
Questions of the Day:
- How has your happiness changed with age?
- What’s one memory you have of your grandmother?
What a special person! I can’t even imagine what it would be like not to have sight. It’s great that you got to spend this special time with her.
My grandfather was also blind. He lost his sight just a few months before I was born. He passed away when I was 6 or 7 but he still lived the most joyful life he could. He played with my sister and I, took us out into his gardens that he loved and felt each plant, telling us exactly what it was and what type of light/watering/soil it needed to thrive. All sorts of fun stuff. I miss those moments! So glad you have this special time with your Nani! Enjoy every moment!
My Grammy was a talented cook and craftsman. When arthritis and diabetes took those away from her I felt so mad but she told me that it was time for her to move on from those things and focus on God. She was an amazing woman!
This is such a beautiful post! Your Nani sounds like a very special lady. It makes me really miss my grandparents. They have all been gone for a while. Cherish every moment you have with her!
This is such a wonderful post. I have a Nana Jo who is fantastic and I love hanging out with her. She’s 95, and has lots of stories.
I only have one living grandparent, but she’s in the Philippines. It was hard growing up because my family and I grew up in America while the rest of the grandparents were in the Philippines. Since I didn’t get that time with them, I make it a point to have my kids hang with THEIR grandparents as much as possible!
What a beautiful post! Your Nani seems like an amazing woman. It is easy to get upset when our loved ones are robbed of some of the beautiful things that we take for granted but they see the world differently then us and they are so amazingly special for it.
Love this post!
I miss my nany everyday! I used to be really close to her and she taught me to crochet and embroider.
Your nanima is definitely a really sweet person. I do understand how you felt, I feel the same way from time to time.
What a beautiful post about a beautiful woman! I loved reading your thoughts and your love for her truly shines. What a blessing your relationship must be!
Aw, this is so sweet! I can tell she is a very special person, and it’s clear how much she loves you. I like that you’ve really stopped to think about how age and circumstance means finding joy in different ways.
What a beautiful post, Divya. She sounds like such a sweet, special lady. 🙂
It’s just a different kind of joy for her now, right, things have just changed. All little things to you and I that we most likely take for granted. It was nice to see the shift in your thinking. You were being mindful and changed that disappointment into something positive. That’s awesome girl..
Reading this has made me realize just how much I miss my grandma. I used to spend summers with her growing up and she passed in 1998. I miss her so much.
Savor every moment you have with her. <3
Such a beautiful post & so thought provoking it makes you realise what you take for granted, something we probably don’t lay too much attention from but if it were gone it would really change our lives.
How wonderful! My granny passed away in January and I even though I saw her often, I wish now that I had taken more time with her.
Heart touching 🙂
I love my Grandma a lot too! I am pretty close with her.
This is such an adorable post. Grandparents are precious and this truly is making me miss mine!
Divya! Somehow I always manage to end up back on your blog, so I finally email subscribed so I don’t miss anything. I really loved your post, and it reminds me of time I get to spend with my grandfather and the joys that he can find in the little things. Thank you for sharing!
Time really is the most valuable gift to give.
I think as we get older some of us get wiser and realize the little things that makes us happy. A special memory with my grandmother is baking and gardening when I was little.
I think it’s wonderful that you have such a solid awareness of how precious your time with your Nani is. Not only does she value that time and joy, but so do you, obviously. Enjoy your 1 on 1 with her!
Your love for her is beautiful!! She is lucky to have a granddaughter who cares so deeply for her 🙂 You will look back on these days so fondly so it’s wonderful that you cherish them!
Your Nani is so beautiful! I wish I had spent more time with my grandmother and actually considered the things that really brought her joy. This was a very eye-opening post and I really enjoyed reading it.
This is very sweet. Time with family is definitely not something to overlook! I’m glad your Nani finds joy in these little moments!
Great post! I think it’s natural to feel antsy and need to get out – so no need to feel guilty! However, it’s great that you can recognize what makes your Nani happy and find ways to bring more joy into her life! 🙂 Even if she’s legally blind, I would think getting fresh air and just sitting outside could be lovely.
-Lauren
This post is so beautiful! I love a good life lesson.
I love this post so much! I miss my grandparents, and like your Nani, they taught me so many beautiful lessons. Your Nani sounds like a wonderful woman. Enjoy your special time with her!
It is amazing how a walk can make all the difference and give some perspective. It is so lovely that you have such a wonderful relationship with your Nani 🙂
This is beautiful! I wish my grandmother… or any of my grandparents, had lived longer. I miss not having beautiful memories like this.
So odd that I would read this post today.
I lost my grandmother 9 years ago. But for some reason today, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Perhaps it was because while working in the garden, I noticed that some flowers she and I planted together were starting to emerge. Whatever the case, I’m happy to have had moments ALONE with her. These memories are priceless.
So special to have so much time with your grandma!
such an amazing post. i needed this perspective
Time is one of the most challenging things that we can give to someone else but also the most valuable because it’s something we can never get back when we give it. But its so beautiful and I am glad that your grandmother values it the way it should be valued.
I love spending time with my grandmother’s too. We never run out of things to talk about and even though one is homebound, we still find a lot to do!
This is really thought-provoking and moving. I bet for her, being with her grandchildren is just like watching a beautiful sunset. Your words are beautiful and thoughtful.
Oh, so sorry to know that. But still you are lucky to be able to be with your grandmom. Having them means having a bestfriend too. Not everyone are lucky enough to be able to grow up having time with their grandparents.
My happiness has changed with age because I prioritize time with my family. Enjoy every moment that you have with her.
What a beautiful piece full of love. You’ve made my eyes water. My granny has alzheimer and is now in a special home but I call her almost everyday to make sure she knows she’s loved and thought about. I think this kind of grand-mother/grand-daughter love is something very special. I’m glad you both have each other to cherish.
You guys look so happy together It is really nice to see that she is still around to love you as much as you do her
Awww this is so sweet. I miss my grandmother every day. Same with my grandfather. They’re always in my heart.