Leave the Moms Alone

“Live and let live.”

It’s one of my dad’s many mantras.

If you know my dad, you know he’s got some strong opinions. Like he’s pretty adamant that you gotta use your nose spray and move your body and eat in moderation. 

He also really doesn’t like when you opt for using Google Maps or Waze instead of using your brain. 

But, for the most part, he really does live by that “live and let live” mentality. 

And honestly? I wish more people did. Especially when it comes to parenting. 

Because being a mom right now means constantly bumping into people who don’t live and let live.

And, sure, it usually comes from a good place. From wanting to believe they’re doing (or did) the right thing. But it ends up sounding like this.

I stayed at home with my kid. 
So this must be the best thing for all moms to do. 
Thus, IT’S A SHAME THAT KIDS ARE BEING RAISED BY DAYCARES. 

Or, 
I breastfed my baby for a year. 
So this must be the best thing for all moms to do. 
Thus, IT’S A SHAME THAT YOU USE FORMULA.

Or, 
I spent all Saturday indoors playing games and snuggling my kids. 
So this must be the best thing for all moms to do. 
Thus, IT’S A SHAME that you spent the day bouncing between activities.

There will always be people who make you feel like you’re doing it wrong. Like you’re not making the “right” choice for your kid.

But, here’s the thing. 

We’re all just doing our best.

And not just that. We’re all doing what helps US show up as our best selves.

So sometimes that looks like, YES, GOING TO WORK. Not because you have to, but because using a different part of your brain helps you show up as a calmer, more present parent.

Sometimes that looks like using formula because breastfeeding can be a b*tch and NOBODY NEEDS THAT KIND OF STRESS WHEN THEY’RE BRINGING HOME A NEWBORN. 

And sometimes that looks like filling your weekend with plans because sitting at home makes you ANXIOUS and OVERWHELMED because all you can do is stare at the pile of dishes and the shit all over your living room floor. And you’re a better, HAPPIER parent when you’re out living life with your kids.

So, really. JUST LEAVE MOMS ALONE. 

Your way isn’t better than my way. My way isn’t better than yours.

We all need different things to help US REGULATE OUR OWN NERVOUS SYSTEMS. AND THAT IS GOING TO LOOK DIFFERENT IN EVERY FAMILY.

The best thing for our kids is to have CALM, REGULATED, HAPPY PARENTS. 

And we all get there in our own way. 

SO once again, I will leave you with this. 

Leave the moms alone. 

If you really want to offer something? Coffee’s a great start.