Kids Write The Darndest Things
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I always tell people I have the most entertaining job. I start by telling them about the time that my sister and I were text messaging back and forth throughout the day.
Me: “How’s your day going?”
Sister: “Oh, it’s fine. I just sat through a lot of meetings. And then I have two more this afternoon. How’s yours?”
Me: “Oh, it’s great. John just stuck some paper towels in the urinal and then slapped the wet wad into Elijah’s face when he walked into the bathroom.”
My day is never boring. At the end of the day, there is always a story to tell.
Sometimes I wish I had a camera following me around all day so I can document every little thing my kiddos say. But I’m pretty sure nobody’s going to do a reality TV show in an elementary school anytime soon. That’s probably all sorts of illegal. So, instead, I try to take a snapshot of the things that make me giggle. And the other things that don’t (or legally can’t) make it on camera, I jot down in my journal. In hopes that I remember the things they say and the things they write.
Because kids say the darndest things. But they also write the darndest things.
Like that time when one of my students had to write the word “hauling” in a sentence.
I explained to her that “hauling” meant moving something from one place to another. She wrote: “I’m hauling my dad a beer.” (Lucky dad!)
Then there was the time we were learning similes.
My favorite is: “Nintendogs are as cute as a dog holding a puppy holding a little kitty.” Or “as smart as a computer eating microchips.” Or “as cool as a gangster wearing blue shades.”
They’re all pretty great. I just feel like their writing lets me jump inside their brains and gives me an opportunity to explore who they are a bit more.
They say the darndest things.
And that’s part of what makes this job so fun.
Questions of the Day:
- What funny things have your kids (or students) said lately?
Kids do say some funny things. I wonder if the child really did have mom’s permission to get chocolate milk LOL.
These are great, thanks for the morning laugh! You need to do a part 2 on this article for sure.
Sharing this with some mom friends this morning – it started my day with a laugh!
Those are so adorable! My daughter is in Kindergarten and I’m waiting patiently for her to bring home some papers that have hilarious things written on them. This is so cute though and makes me look forward to what she has to offer the older she gets!
“Happy as a zombie eating brains” Hahaha! That is too funny! I often wonder how adults would act if we set our creative brains free again. Thanks for sharing a laugh this morning. 🙂
Haha, hilarious! And so true. My kids have written some hilarious things over the years. My favorite is when my then 5-year-old was trying to spell clock but forgot the L.
Having four nieces I am constantly cracking up at the things they write and say. My one niece just sent me a thank you for her “sooper gurl” doll. 🙂
I have four nieces so I am constantly cracking up at the things they write and say. My one niece just sent me a thank you for her “sooper gurl” doll. 🙂
Hahaha yes kids do say the darnedest things. And they are so honest it’s sometimes scary! Your day trumps mine anytime!
BAH HA HA HA HA! This is the best. Kids are just so innocent. I remember when I said the “darndest” things 😉 Although… I would always say raunchy and naughty things – and have no clue what they meant – and get in trouble!
These are adorable and make me look forward to student teaching.
This is the best! I love kids and they do make me laugh so much because they are so honest and they often say the funniest things ever.
http://www.twenty7bymichelle.com
I love this! I work in the office of a school and I have a document on my computer filled with things that I’ve heard from students in the hallway. They really do say (and write!) the darndest things!
This really made me chuckle! As a primary teacher I have read endless comedy mishaps from children – one of the best bits of my job!!
As cool as a gangster wearing blue shoes! Haha I used to teach, and kids truly are the funniest!
I used to love taking my 2nd graders journals home because they were so funny!
These are too funny! I needed this chuckle this morning! My 3-year-old basically inserts the word “poop” into every sentence right now, so my life is also very exciting. I’m curious what he’ll end up writing about!
Woah “Dada” beer! I think you deserve that beer, because being a mom is not an 8-5 job, they deserve more happy hour than anyone else.
hahah! The computer eating microchips is just so cute! You must be laughing everyday! Thanks for sharing with us 🙂
These are so great! It must be fun to work with kids all the time and have a job that is always interesting and ever-changing
Love what kids write. At Thanksgiving time a local teacher has her kids write how to cook a turkey. They print them in the local paper. It will make you die laughing and is always a big hit.
Kids write and say the darndest things to you when you’re pregnant. I had one gurl ask me if I was breastfeeding in front of 5 boys who were so embarrassed! One time a friend had to leave work and I took over her class and a male student asked if she had her bloody show! Ugh! Don’t get me started on the post partum weight loss comments either!
My 8 and 10 year old are into zombies too. Kids are so honest when writing
This is too cute! I love “I’m having my dad a beer!” Lol! I used to work in a preschool and I always had interesting stories to tell my family at the end of the day! Never a dull moment with kids!
I think my favorite thing was ‘As happy as a zombie eating brains.’ I literally laughed hard at that one!
My little man is too young to speak full sentences yet, so the most we get is dog, mew, cup.
This is HILARIOUS! You have to post it on 9gag or make it go viral somehow!
Bwahahahahaha thanks for sharing these with us. I loved it especially the one about computers eating microchips. Ha ha ha ha what a beautiful post to read. I have three little boys so I love hearing/reading their cute sayings
These are too funny especially Nintendog.
These are the cutest ever! I save a lot of my children’s writings to look back on and they never disappoint LOL
This is way too cute!!! This was one of the most hilarious things I’ve read in a while lol, thank you for the great read. must be great being a teacher, obviously the kids keep you entertained
This was so cute! Kids are the funniest. <3
This is adorable. I love the imagination of kids. I love the one about being as happy as a zombie eating brains. A kid after my own heart, lol.
This is going to be a long comment. LOL. Let me share a story about my kids. Before kids here can start nursery school, they will be subjected to an “interview” to gauge their level of learning at home. When the nursery school teacher asked my oldest son, (then 4 years old), “Can you count?” My son said “yes.” Teacher said, “Can you count for me?” My son counted to ten. Then the teacher said, “Very good!” My son said, “Wait!” Then he goes blabbing on, counting till he reached “sikty-one, sikty-two…” Teacher was floored.
When it was my youngest son’s turn to start Nursery, he was interviewed too. The question was, “Do you know when your birthday is?” My son, with confidence and affirmation, blurted out, “Its over. Were you not invited to my party?”
OMG. This whole business of raising kids. Haha.
Lol. These kids are great. You teach the most fun age group. You have to love the laughs with them.
Haha aw I love these! I so miss working in childcare for this very reason!!
Hahaha that is so funny! Love that kids write, they are so honest and have a big imagination!
Kids can de-stress a otherwise stressful day with their funny talks. My 4 year old cracks me up.
Haha! I wish my dog could “haul” me a beer! My friend said that could be taught. I laughed because my dog would drink the beer himself!
This is so cute, the number one reason to save all the little scraps of school papers to have a giggle later. xoxo Robin
Hahaha!! Kids are the best! (most of the time) HA!
This is so adorable! I don’t have children, but I can certainly appreciate the “cute factor” of this post!!
Beth || http://www.TheStyleBouquet.com
Aww this is so cute .The kids are amazingly awesome and positive.
That was so funny and you make me laugh and smile about how wide does kids explore their creative imagination. Sometimes when they did a wrong thing and you are scolding them and you asked them why and when they answer back, you just can’t help yourself to burst into laughter when you hear on how they response.
Kids definitely say such funny stuff. I like sour cream and on(ion) chips too. 🙂
Kids absolutely have the wittiest, most honest, and true little brains! I’m always surprised and delighted by what comes out of my kiddos’ mouths…well, usually delighted?! lol
Love this. So funny. My girls are just starting to write notes to me and sometimes they do say the darnest things!
Happy as a Zombie eating brains!!! God kids are the best. Lol
This post made my day! I love how kids see the world. Thanks for sharing the humor. 🙂
Children are so creative, we think it is so funny and sometimes correct their “behavior”. I love that they are limitless thinkers.
The cutest blog ever. “Hauling my dad his beer” hahaha.
Enjoyed reading your blog and all the interesting shares by your readers.
God Bless you Divya Teacher and all other teachers in this world.
When I taught junior high history and English, I actually had a biweekly series on my blog called this!
This is so funny!!!! Save it for them to see when they are older.
Hahahaha ~ I have no idea how many times I have had to write little notes to my kids’ teachers through the years explaining what something is that they wrote. I keep memory boxes and filter these into them at the end of the school years. Can’t wait until they get older LOL yes, I can though :-*(
haha, I agree you can’t have a boring day, kids are so funny and they give you this beautiful moment whrn you come back home 🙂
The zombie eats Brians! – poor guys who are named Brian. My mom retired 2 years ago. She wanted nothing with teaching the older kids, she always went for the 1st graders. She found peace there.
I’m a retired teacher, but I still sub a lot. Reading the kids’ writing is so fun! Never a dull moment!
My favorite is Happy as a zombie eating brains… I love listening to children, they are a light of information.
Haha this is such a great post! I have had some funny things said to me by my little siblings. I wish I had started writing them down!
haha this article made my day! lol i wonder how my son do when the time comes that he have to go to school haha lol. i agree, your job is fun!
So cute! Love this post 💕
The honesty and lack of filters children have is so amazing! Thanks for sharing
These are hilarious. I guess one must have alot of patience to teach little kids though!
Very cute. I see a lot of these types of things show up on facebook. Some of the kids are extremely smart.
I agree, kids write the darndest things! I’ve had my fair share with my son!
Divya! This is awesome! I love the excitement and innocence that kids have at this age. All they want to do is have fun and live care free. My favorite is the line about the computer eating microchips ha!
Love the usage of hauling!!! It is so much fun to see what they write as the are learning words and handwriting.
This is one of the things that I enjoyed when my kids were growing up. They really do say the funniest things and they innocently do it as well.
Kids are always entertaining! I think they say the funniest things at the most inappropriate time which makes it even funnier. I had a blast reading your stories.
Kids always keep you on your toes! Some hilarious answers here – love the zombie eating brians! Poor Brian! lol
Kids really do say the funniest things! I think that part of being a teacher would be AWESOME. Thanks for the pick-me-up!
Kaitlyn
http://www.mypostpartumlife.com
Haha wearing blue shades, that so funny. why do they have to be blue?! My sister works as a secondary school teacher and some of the answers she gets on the homework is hilarious
I used to love when my kids would say hilarious stuff. I would just laugh it off and then tell all of my friends about it.
Aw i love it! “A Zombie eating Brians” Really sucks if your name is Brian!
It looks like you have an endless fountain of material with the kids. It must be a riot!
We can’t have a boring day with our kids they are so funny and give us this beautiful moments when we come back home 🙂
My boys are always saying crazy things! When my 9 year old was about 3 or 4, I think we were eating pizza…he got full and said, “I wish I was a cow with 4 stomachs so I could keep eating!” lol
That’s how I feel when I’m eating pizza too! 😉
My husband is carrying my 21 months sons on his shoulders. Just before going through the door my husband is telling my son, Calvin, you need to duck (meaning lowing his head). My toddler is responding on this “Quack, Quack”. Kids are funny.
I have had some really great conversations with my kids over the years. They are some of my favorite memories.
Omg hilarious!!!!! I can’t wait for the day my daughter starts bringing home funny pieces of writing!!! When I was a kid my mom saved some epic ones I wrote like me pretending I was a cat lol
What a fun job & you seem to really love it which is wonderful. That means your kids know you love them, which makes it so special … and of course, by capturing all of it here, you can enjoy their sayings forever & ever. Smile because you made me smile!
Thank you so much for sharing this, it literally made me laugh out loud! My favorite has to be “as cool as a gangster wearing blue shades.” Kids are great!
Kids are great, aren’t they? My nieces are a joy, they say the funniest things sometimes that I have no chance but end up laughing. Your post is great!
I can’t wait when my son will be on that stage:D it’s sounds so funny
I always love getting the chance to stumble upon posts such as these! The stories and creativity that flow from a kids mind just amazes me! Thanks for sharing with us!
Ooooohh my goodness this gave me such a good laugh! I love children. They can brighten anyone’s day.
Oh wow, so funny! My kids say write some funny things as well!
Such a beautiful way to start your day with some laugh. Kids always does something special that could bring smiles out of no where and everything they do is adorable. Both my kids are expert in doing that almost every day with their writings!
That’s so funny! My 2yo cracks me up on the regular. I can only imagine what it would be like amongst several kids!
These are hilarious! I remember when my youngest daughter was in kindergarten and had to use her spelling words to write a sentence. The word was shirt. Her sentence: I brought my mom her shit (no r). Yeah, we had to work on the word a bit more…LOL
now this is hilarious. As cool as a gangster wearing blue shades. lol