Five and Full of Heart

I have been loving Ishu so hard these days.

Maybe it’s because we’ve spent so much time together lately. Two long stretches in California over the past few months.

Maybe it’s watching the way this 5-year-old held space for both of his grandmothers as they said goodbye to their own mothers. The way he watched the grown-ups fall apart and quietly showed up at their side to hug them.

I don’t know if this is just normal mother stuff. You go through waves of loving your child a regular amount and then suddenly love them INTENSELY. But I feel like I’m in the intense phase right now.

When we got back to Chicago and he returned to school, he couldn’t wait to show his friends his missing tooth. He’s grown close to two boys in his class and when I dropped him off that first day, they were excitedly waving him in. He barely looked back to say goodbye.

I love this for him.

I also feel like it made him seem so GROWN UP.

Rushing off to go be with friends without a second glance.

But then.

At the end of the day, when I come pick him up, he walks out with a pile of papers between his hands, some tucked under his chin.

His math worksheets, his vocabulary booklets, his artwork. A whole day’s work ready to show Mama.

And, without fail, there’s always one or two creations with all four of our names scrawled across them. Our initials in hearts. “I LOVE YOU” in big letters.

It’s the sweetest thing and brings me to tears just thinking about it. That even while he’s busy with his own world, he’s thinking of his family.