Ishu slipped off the side of the bed this morning.

It’s not what you think.

Our mattress is on the floor. So he must have – mid-sleep – rolled over and onto the floor. He (obviously) didn’t hurt himself. But he woke up around 2:30am, found himself off the bed, and started crying.

Eventually, after a few cuddles, he drifted back off to sleep. And I lay there, itching for my Kindle so I could read a few more chapters in my book.

I was fully awake. Couldn’t put myself back to sleep.

This is what happens. Ishu wakes up in the middle of the night for a little bit and then I wake up for GOOD instead of falling back asleep.

I was talking to my best friend and roommate from college about this.

If you ask her about my sleep habits, she would tell you that I’m the quickest and deepest sleeper there ever was. She likes to tell people the story about how she was once in the middle of a conversation with me and I zonked out 10 seconds after my head hit the pillow. She then jumped up from her bed, jumped on top of me to wake me up and, somehow, I kept snoozing.

I’m an excellent sleeper. Or, I guess, I used to be.

But, ever since becoming a mom, I have wondered if my sleep is broken. I wonder if the frequent wake-ups have permanently altered my sleeping abilities.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. WHY can’t I go back to sleep? I don’t feel like my mind is inundated with a million things. It’s not like I feel any sort of anxiety or worry that keeps me awake.

I’ve concluded that there is a part of me – deep in my subconscious – that craves some time alone. That knows that if I wake up, I can have some uninterrupted time to read those chapters in my Kindle, to sit here and write a blog post, to drink my cup of coffee while it’s still hot.

And I think, sometimes, I am willing to forgo sleep to have that time.

So, maybe my sleep isn’t broken. Maybe it’s simply that there’s this other part of me that needs the quiet, alone time. And if 3am is when I get it, so be it.

I’m sure I will sleep hard and deep again. Maybe when Ishaan is 18. Ha.

Questions of the Day:

When do you get your alone time?

Are you a hard and deep sleeper?