Ishu’s been going through an intense mama attachment over the past two weeks. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s been sick or whether this is just normal toddler development stuff.

But, either way, I’m finding myself returning to a phrase we taught him a year ago when he was going through some separation stuff.

“Mama always comes…” I start.

And he responds, “Back!”

Now that his language has grown, I explain further and tell him where I’m going, what I’m doing, and how I’ll be back soon to give him a squeeze.

Even when it’s just a simple bathroom trip. Apparently it’s when he feels the most abandoned. Closed door, mama? How could you?

Yesterday, I left the apartment while Ishu was with Auntie Bella. It was more of an experiment to see how he’d do after being away from her for some time.

He did fine. But, when I did hear him cry out as I shut the door behind me, I could feel my breath catch in my throat.

“Mama always comes back.” It’s what I say to remind him I will always return. It’s what most parents use with their toddlers over and over again to remind them that this separation is temporary.

And it’s likely what the parents who lost their lives in Highland Park used with their 2-year old. To reassure him that they’d always return.

But now what?

Mama doesn’t always come back.

And it’s a sick lesson that I shouldn’t have to teach my TWO-YEAR OLD.

I think the worst part of this all is that people have read their story, read that this child is now an orphan, and continue to speak out in defense of their guns.

It’s stupid.

It’s preventable.

And yet we’ll continue this reality where moms and dads can’t – with certainty – tell their kids they will be back.