Okay, we made the first move toward eliminating the pacifier.

Like I said on this post, the doctor recommended us cutting the paci cold turkey. But I knew that probably wouldn’t be the right move with Ishu. So we’re slowly fading it out.

Two weeks ago, we told him that the pacifier was only for inside the house. And I stopped bringing it along with me on our walks or trips to the park.

Before, it was “blue paci, blue paci, blue paci” constantly. But now, since he doesn’t have access to it ALL the time, he doesn’t always remember to ask for it when we get back inside.

He’s actually been so receptive to these new parameters. Before we got off the plane the other day, I said, “Oh, we’re leaving the plane to go outside. Let’s put the paci in the backpack.” And, without crying or refusing, he handed it over.

When he placed it in the pocket, I said, “Nice job, Ishu. Love you so much,” as I zipped up the backpack and swung it over my shoulder.

“Love you, blue paci,” he responded. And then climbed over Ankur to climb into the aisle.

Ha.

He knows the parameters, but the paci is probably still his most prized possession.

HOWEVER, because the pacifier was the most tangible, most effective tool we’ve used to help him calm down, we’re noticing that he has a really tough time regulating his little body and energy without it.

I don’t think I noticed it before because, well, we’d pop the paci in or he knew to ask for it when he was getting agitated or sleepy.

And now I’m realizing how little I’ve actually done in terms of teaching him the tools to calm down. Ha.

I know he’s still a toddler and he relies on us to help him regulate through hard moments. But, yesterday, when bath time was over (and he was not ready), I realized I had NOTHING in my toolbox to use with him. Or at least nothing that HE’D be familiar with. Because we’ve done no practice around deep breathing or other ways to calm our bodies.

I know that sometimes you just gotta wait a tantrum out and not rush them through the process, but yesterday, it felt like he continued to escalate and it was getting worse and worse.

Around the 20-minute mark, I found the pacifier sitting next to the kitchen sink and handed it over. And, I shit you not, 3 seconds later, he was quiet and his body was calm. He came over to me and held onto my leg as his breathing started to slow down. I sat down with him in the kitchen and held him.

It almost brought tears to my eyes to know that he needed something to help his little out-of-control body and I had not been able to “co-regulate” with him.

Anyway, it was a nice little reminder to myself that, maybe we gotta spend some of each day practicing some of these calm down techniques. The balloon breathing, the calming jars.

He is still, obviously, going to rely on us adults to help him regulate himself. But, the more familiar he is with some of these strategies, the more likely he’ll be receptive to them in the escalated moments.

Last night, we pulled out the weighted blanket our sweet Bhabhi and Bhaiya got for us and made him into a little burrito.

He was bouncing and flouncing around the bedroom, not at all ready to come into the bed. But, the minute the weighted blanket was laying on top of him, I could see a noticeable difference. He lay there for a couple minutes, letting the physical pressure ground him a bit.

So, yes. Today starts the day of practicing some new ways to calm our bodies down.

PARENTING, MAN.

It’s like whack-a-mole.

Just when you think you’ve figured ONE thing out, your kid’s like, “WAIT, I’VE GOT MORE TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE.”