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When I first started this blog, my cousin and best friend asked me, “Do you ever feel like you’re LIVING for your blog?”
I was still new at this whole “public journal-ing” thing. So, I didn’t really understand what she meant back then.
But, with time, as I attended birthday parties, weddings, or even happy hours after work, that one question clicked.
People would ask me, “Oh, is this going to make ‘the blog’ tomorrow morning?” Or, “Don’t take a bite yet! She needs to take a photo for her blog!”
Sometimes I felt as though people were mocking me.
But my cousin wasn’t mocking me. She was just curious. Her question was genuine. She was actually wondering whether my view on life and my perception on the world had somehow been altered because I was now documenting it.
It’s true that I was paying more attention to the things around me.
I was more in tune with conversations. And I felt like I was able to re-live those moments because I forced myself to notice all the little details and interactions.
But, some days, I felt like an observer of my own life instead of a participant.
I was watching my life. Instead of jumping right in and BEING in it.
It’s why I choose not to document my day to days anymore. (Not to mention, they’re pretty mundane out here as of late).
But I’ve also been actively trying to stay more present. More grounded. More IN my life.
A few things that I have been trying that have been working for me are:
- Short spurts of meditation and mindfulness throughout the day. I’ve been using the Simple Habit app on my phone and the meditations range from 5 minutes to 20 minutes. And they are all set around specific intentions. So, whenever I’m feeling a certain way (whether it be struggling with body image or just feeling frustrated after work), the app has been really useful in helping me come down from it all.
- Turning off notifications on my phone. I am trying to manage my “squirrel” attention span and it’s so difficult to do that when you’ve got things popping up on your phone every 5 minutes. I don’t NEED to know whether my Instagram photo is being liked in the present moment. I don’t NEED an alert each and every time I get an e-mail. Flipping through different apps has negatively impacted my attention span and focus.
- Using my Bluetooth headphones. When I’m listening to an audiobook or a podcast on Bluetooth headphones, it means I can tuck my cell phone away out of sight. It used to be that I would be listening to a podcast and also have my phone in my hand scrolling through my Instagram feed. Spoiler alert: your brain doesn’t attend well when it’s being asked to multi-task.
- Processing the events of the past day. When I go to bed at night, I allow myself a few minutes to reflect on the day. I run through my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I give myself some time to think about the connections that brought me joy. And I even allow myself to think about interactions that brought me discomfort. I think of ways in which I could have responded so it didn’t have to leave me feeling uncomfortable. Or, I simply recognize that discomfort happens and just let it go.
- Do one thing at a time. It used to be that when I was doing dishes, I’d also be listening to a podcast and simultaneously cooking something on the stove. Or, if I was resting on the couch after work, I would have my phone in hand or something to “stimulate” my mind. But research shows that “boredom breeds brilliance.” We can’t have constant stimulation and also expect to be our most creative selves if we are filling in every little gap of time with “productivity.”
Question of the Day:
Whether you’re a writer or a blogger or a private journaler, I’d love to hear how you manage to stay present as a participant and not as an observer. While still documenting the special moments in your life. Leave a comment. Send me a message. Share your wisdom!
I do like to take breaks from social media because I know I need to cherish these moments of my youth while I can. Ever since I moved to college I have realized that time has gone by too quickly. I try to stay away from my phone for at least 2 hours in my day to be able to have moments to observe and just relax.
Great tips! I think I need to turn off the notifications on my phone too!
The way I stay present is to write down ideas in the moment and go back to them later. That way they’re out of my mind and I can focus on what’s happening now.
I’ve been taking more frequent and longer breaks from social media too. Especially on weekends, I try to really focus on being present with my husband and son. And I’m strangely finding myself happier, funny how that works!
Beth recently posted…Wishlist 2017
Love this! I can be bad about checking my phone a lot so I try to set it aside from dinner until after the kids go to be each evening so I can be more fully present with them.
Emily @ Pizza & Pull-ups recently posted…Coffee Date
Love this, Divya. That used to drive me nuts when people would ask me if something is going on the blog, but I realized I liked including my everyday stories and so I shouldn’t be so defensive to the question… but like your cousin, it was mostly mild curiosity and not judgement like I had initially assumed.
Love all of your ways to stay present and live in and for those quiet moments in life. They are given to us for a reason, and sounds like you are making the most of the everyday 🙂
Xoxo
Charlotte recently posted…Fertility follies (part one)
these are all good tips, I like the part about doing one thing at a time because sometimes juggling many tasks cause me to not truly give my 100% attention to any of them. thanks for sharing.
Denise recently posted…Family and All It Entails During This Holiday Season.
I’m so distracted ever since I got a smartphone (which was about 4 years ago… we were late to the game. LOL) … these are good tips
This is something I struggle with. I do try and catch myself if I’m thinking into the future or back to the past. I try and bring myself back to the present, but often it’s so automatic that I don’t notice. I think I need to start meditating again, and perhaps the app you suggested might be good 🙂
Mind Over Meta recently posted…A Little Dose Of Gratitude: Learning Curve
That is great info! As a newer blogger myself, I have experienced this too! Distractions are everywhere! Thank you so much for the great info! I am going to print this & put it next to my computer! 🙂
Kristi
It’s hard to find that balance, right? Like when we’re at a concert – you want to be there but also want to capture the moment. I usually choose being in the moment. I figure having that memory fully present is more important than having a mediocre photo of it.
These are AWESOME tips. I struggle with this, too–because I tend to ruminate over things to a dysfunctional degree, I started chronically distracting myself with podcasts and TV shows. Ironically, one podcast that I listen to (it’s called Note to Self–you’d love it if you haven’t heard it already!) has got me thinking about this a lot. They do a “Bored and Brilliant Bootcamp” that challenges you to drop one bad tech habit a day that’s preventing you from ever getting bored–since that’s when many of us have our best ideas. I’ve never officially done the bootcamp, but it has made me much more conscious about the downtime I’m NOT having by constantly distracting myself.
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Great post! I’m glad you are finding ways to really BE in the moment. I know that can be tough for me too because I tend to get distracted by all these other things I should or could be doing. When it come to being out and having fun, I do think about the blog sometimes if I know I want to post about it later, but I do try and just have fun.
-Lauren
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Social media can be overwhelming. I try to limit my intake. I don’t participate in IG stories (mostly) and focus on the photos. I limit my consume of FB. I allow myself one or two pictures when I am out with friends and then my phone goes into my purse or pocket. Sometimes it takes an effort, but most times it’s worth it.
San recently posted…8: A Day in the Life
I’ve been blogging for just 5 months and my best friend asked me a similar question. I was a little taken back by it – like she wasn’t taking me seriously or something. I think she was actually just concerned about my work/life balance. With that said I love your tips on living for the now. I’ve really been focused on this lately too which has been extremely therapeutic. I’m going to check out that meditation app too – as I need this in my life 🙂
Yolanda recently posted…9 of the Cutest Instagram Accounts for Animal Lovers
This really resonates with me, I’ve mostly stopped posting day to day stuff for the exact same reason – I want to be present with my child, not thinking about taking a picture of what he’s doing for the blog. Such a hard balance sometimes.
Mindfulness and doing things one at a time go hand-in-hand for me. They make such a difference!
I agree with what you said about sometimes, especially because of the blog, you feel like an observer of your life, instead of a participant. I feel that way too sometimes. Since starting my blog, I’ve really started intentionally and actively paying attention to my life more. The lessons learned, steps taken, feelings felt…when normally I would have just kept on moving. Blogging has been a big blessing in that way for me., but I struggle with being distracted too. Always trying to think of the next piece of content to share. Your tips for being less distracted are on point.
I had a similar experience when I first started getting really serious about blogging and social media. A lot of my friends would say, “do you feel the need to share everything?” and I realized they were only saying that because I was sharing everything and I was constantly sharing everything. I did alot of the same things you did and I’m alot happier now because of it.
Megan Anne recently posted…The One Thing I’ll Always Be Thankful For | Guest Post by Lucy Maker
Great advice thanks. Yes I am constantly checking my phone and do think everything has the makings of a good blog!! Jill
Sometimes it’s so hard to stay present! I feel like our minds are always running with “to-do’s”. But it makes such a big difference to your day when you can pause and focus only on one thing 🙂
Shelby @Fitasamamabear recently posted…Crispy Hazelnut Sugar Cookies
I agree with you, having a blog does change perspective a bit. I think a key is to be mindful of social media time, it’s really easy to get sucked in, waiting for feedback. While having a blog makes me feel like I’m observing my life, I also feel that way with my toddler…by trying to keep her learning and experiencing, I notice I’m living my life through looking at the pictures later, instead of being part of the memory. Great tips. 🙂
This was very interesting and I really enjoyed it. I do listen to podcasts while I am doing something else. I should just get some headphones and enjoy the podcast. I also have turned off social media notifications on my phone.
I’ve been keeping a journal for most of my life, and much of it has been online (since 2001, haha) but it only switched over to more of a “blog” over the last 2.5 years or so. I like the tips you mentioned, and I definitely like to have “unplugged” days (usually over the weekend) when I can!
That’s actually quite an interesting question to ask yourself. I know that I could detach a bit more but I think over the last year, I’ve done so much more than I have previously. I put my phone down MUCH more than I used to and I don’t have nearly as much anxiety when I see notifications. Having said that, I just turned off so many notifications for social media and other apps on the weekend – getting bombarded with that crap is just not good and for what?
Thank you for the reminder to be more present and MINDFUL, Divya. xo
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I love this so much. I have been trying to balance my blog/ life a lot more lately. I felt like it was consuming me, and I didn’t like that. It’s been nice to sometimes not worry about anything with the blog for a bit.
Danielle @ A Sprinkle of Joy recently posted…Kids Behind the Blog {Thanksgiving 2017}
I really enjoyed reading this post and it does contain some good tips.I especially think that meditating is important.As having a blog does change your view on things.I try my best to workout daily if is even for an half and hour and also spend quality time with the family in the evenings.