Good morning, good morning!

The temperatures are RISING and, even though I know it’s probably all that false spring stuff that everyone keeps talking about, I WILL TAKE IT.

Last night, after both kiddos went to sleep, Ankur was on the couch working on an email. And I was at the table prepping my agenda for today. Ankur looked over at me and brought up – again – how important it was to protect my mental peace.

Earlier in the day, I told him about a mistake I had made at work. Small mistake. It’s all cleared up. But it’s a mistake I don’t think I would have made if my brain wasn’t so foggy.

Sometimes, I think I need to dive into my work headfirst the minute Ishu leaves and work work work with every free moment I’ve got. And it leaves me feeling panicky and flustered and not really producing good, quality work. And then I allow distractions to leave me prioritizing the wrong things that take away the energy I’ve got. Which I should be spending on more pressing, important things. Like my work. Or the baby in front of me.

“I mean, people will understand if you can’t get back to them right away,” Ankur started to say. “You’ve got two jobs…”

And then he cut himself off.

“…no. You’ve got THREE jobs. Three jobs. There are not many people we know that have three jobs they’re juggling.”

And it made me feel all the love for him.

I’m working for two districts right now.

But, more importantly, I’m still primary parent for this little baby right now.

And even though we’ve got some help, I’m playing the balancing act the majority of the time. Bouncing him in the rocker while typing up a report. Laying next to him on the playmat while scoring a rating scale.

It feels like a lot.

Because it IS a lot.

And sometimes you need someone to say that out loud to help crystallize what you’re feeling inside.

SO, I’ll be taking some time each evening to map out the day. And then when I *do* start feeling panicky and flustered, I’m going to take that as a sign from my body to just PAUSE for a few minutes. Regroup. And check in with myself.

Sometimes our best work doesn’t come from powering through the to-do list. Sometimes it comes from pulling back and pausing. (And also having a partner that acknowledges that being a mom is a full-time job. Period. Stop. Unpaid work. Work that I’m so lucky to get to do. But unpaid work nonetheless).