I’m taking a little break from my work day to pop in here.
Ishu woke up at 3am for a little bit and then we both fell back asleep around 6am and didn’t wake up until close to 8.
Which meant I needed to get started on other things.
But it feels like a part of me is missing when I start my work day before I sit down to blog.
So we’re still doing it. Just a little bit outta order, y’know?
Ishu is napping and Bella just left for the day. But we got to chat for a bit before she left.
I wanted to pick her brain a little about some of Ishu’s recent behaviors.
I mean, we lucked out and got a pretty great kid. And I know tantrums are developmentally appropriate. But, sometimes, I am still struggling with some of that playground etiquette.
Ishu will see a scooter leaning up against the fence and want to play with it. I will stand between him and the scooter, letting him know that it’s not ours to play with and we can play with X, Y, or Z (the toys we brought).
Eventually, he moves on. But not before he melts into a little puddle. An occasional scream. And lots of tears.
Again, I know tantrums are normal.
But I want to make sure that my actions don’t contribute to the tantrum getting worse. I want to make sure there isn’t a BETTER way to do things. A better way to react, better words to choose.
I threw my hands up in the air and said, “I’m always second guessing things!”
Bella smiled lovingly and said, “The curse of the mother.”
She’s right.
I will always second guess things, I’m sure. A lifetime of wondering, “Is this the right way? Should I have done this? What if that was better?”
But it’s so helpful to talk this out with someone who plays with my child in the same capacity. Someone who loves him so much and knows he’s a really good kid with a really kind heart.
It feels like I won the lottery and we got a 3rd parent to parent this child. Another person to consult with, share funny stories and pictures with. Someone who is there for all of Ishu’s small and big things.
And someone who can also be there for his mama when she – inevitably – questions everything she is doing.
It IS the curse of the mother. Sometimes I get so annoyed with Bryan bc he’s just not plagued with incessant worry the way I am. He shrugs and says Mila will get there when I express my fears that she’s not fully walking yet. It’s just not his way and that makes me angry sometimes but I’m learning it doesn’t mean he cares less—he just processes differently. But that’s our job as mothers—to overthink and worry and do what’s right, and best. We are all learning. Sometimes it takes stepping back to see that we are doing just fine ❤️