Good morning from Newport Beach!

I got Ishu Pishu all bundled up and ready for a walk and then sent him off with his Nanis. Ankur is playing tennis with my papa. And I’m currently sitting in MY Nani’s room, waiting for her to wake up.

We got here yesterday in the early evening and, fortunately, were able to spend a few hours with Bhanu before he had to leave.

As I was standing in the garage waiting to load up his things, I looked up and saw him walk out with tears in his eyes. At first, I was a little confused. Yeah, goodbyes are hard, but tears?

And then I realized he had just come out of Nani’s room.

Oof.

No matter how old we get, no matter how many times we see her, every single one of her grandkids gets emotional saying goodbye to her. Heck, I live an hour away and I come back here every other day and it’s still so hard to say bye to her. KNOWING full well I will see her in a little over 24 hours. But we all just never want to leave her. Ever.

Ankur and I dropped Bhani off around 7:30 and, since we weren’t planning to put Ishu to sleep until 8:30, we had a full hour to go off and do something on our own.

A one-hour break.

Analysis paralysis.

We had just eaten so we didn’t want food. And we only had an hour so whatever we decided to do had to be QUICK.

Eventually, we settled on getting froyo. But, even then, as we were standing in line, I kept checking my phone, wondering if we should just say, “Screw it!” and drive home.

Ankur looked at me and said, “It’s so hard to have a LIFE.”

Yes, that’s correct.

And that’s even WITH having grandparents to drop off the baby with.

So I can’t imagine people who do this (people like us next year!) without the support of family.

Babies are a lot of work. And overwhelming. And they’re constantly on your brain. Even when you think you get a break.

But then, on the drive home, he FaceTimed us from my mama’s phone. I could see the little top of his head as he tried to hold her phone that was bigger than his torso. Repeating, “Ba-pa, ba-pa, ba-pa.” And, in those five minutes, I kept thinking how I couldn’t wait to get home and snuggle his little body and kiss him all over.

The constant tug of wanting a break and wanting nothing more than to bury my face in his neck and inhale deeply. I guess this is motherhood.

Question of the Day:

If you had a one-hour break with no responsibilities or obligations, what would you do with the time?