Yesterday, I made the ultimate teacher mistake. The ultimate parent mistake. The biggest mistake that any adult could possibly make.

 I knew it was a mistake the minute it happened.

I knew it was a mistake the moment the words left my mouth.

I called myself “fat.”

In front of one of my students.

It came out so quickly. So unintentionally. So casually.

I wasn’t having a self-hate moment.

I was just making a choice to eat a piece of pizza for lunch and I shrugged my shoulders, and said, “Might as well. I’m just fat.”

And, just like that, everything changed.

I indirectly told my student that it was OK to negatively self-talk like that.

I indirectly gave him permission to use those words on someone else. Because if an adult can use the word “fat” to describe herself, why wouldn’t he be able to turn around and call someone else that?

I indirectly told him that it was okay to hate our bodies and ourselves.

Being in this role is such a powerful one and sometimes I forget that, even when I sit down – out of the classroom – to eat my lunch, I am still playing the part.

I am still wearing the teacher cape.

The cape that makes me EXTRA visible to these students. It doesn’t matter whether I’m in front of the classroom or not. My words and my actions have consequences.

And I need to be extremely aware of everything I do and say around them.

This is a mistake that will be pretty hard to come back from.

But a mistake that I need to repair nonetheless.

It’s important.

Because the kids are watching.