Please tell me how it’s been an entire FULL day and also it’s only 9am right now. 

The math ain’t mathin’. 

I have been in a funk since drop-off yesterday. 

We spent three hours at the playground after pick-up yesterday. And then battled over bath time. And then had to do a bunch of laundry because Ishu had an accident on our sheets after bath time (right as we plated dinner). Still over here finishing up the third load of laundry. 

Then this morning, he was mad because his milk was in the wrong cup. Scream cried at me because I opened up the blinds and he wanted to do it. Refused to eat breakfast. SO MANY THINGS HAPPEN IN OUR MORNING BEFORE WE LEAVE FOR SCHOOL. 

Anyway, all this to say, I definitely needed a caffeine pick-me-up this morning.

It’s funny how I used to have the Sunday scaries. Because I definitely have the Friday scaries these days. A full weekend with all these emotions is sure to leave me feeling a little dysregulated. 

I laugh because Ankur and I talked about how we got “through” the hardest phase of Ishu’s tantrums at 2.5 years old. BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY’VE COME BACK. 

DON’T EVER ASSUME THAT THEY ARE OVER, FOLKS. THEY ARE JUST IN HIDING. IN REMISSION. WAITING FOR A MORE OPPORTUNE TIME LIKE WHEN YOU’RE FEELING THE MOST TIRED. 

And, yet. 

I love him the most.

I know that the mornings are probably harder for him because I move into the other room after he falls asleep. So he wakes up without me. I know that he is a kid who needs a slow morning with lots of cuddles and kisses and love. And the only way we were able to turn things around this morning was by getting back into bed. Not by pushing forward, but by slowing down. 

I am tired. 

And I am so needed. 

And this is a phase. 

I love him. 

The most. 

And also he is exhausting. 

That is all.