A few days ago, I was on the phone with a friend. It was cutting into Ishu’s bedtime, but I didn’t want to hang up since it had been so long since we’ve connected.

Plus, Ankur got home kinda late from work and he was plenty happy to spend that time playing basketball with Ishu.

I could hear the delirious giggle Ishu gets when he’s so tired. But I stayed on the phone, smiling to myself because, yeah he was tired, but he was also having so much fun throwing ping-pongs into the basketball hoop. As if it were the most hilarious thing ever.

When I did hang up the phone, I noticed I got a text from my parents saying they wanted to Portal with us if Ishu was still awake (yeah, did you notice that “if Ishu was awake” part?! Grandparents, I tell ya!).

I thought to myself, “Why not? It won’t be too long. They could watch the brushing routine. And he seems so happy and giggly. Let’s do it.”

So I turned on the TV, dialed them up, and the three of them (my papa, mama, and Nani) popped up on the screen.

They had fun watching him make a few dunks. And then I decided to go put toothpaste on his brush and bring it over to him in the living room.

Well, friends.

That was all fine and dandy. But then he zoned out with the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. So we tried to help him. And it was like the END OF THE WORLD.

Thrashing and screaming and demanding his pacifier.

Crying and refusing and full-blown tantrum mode.

This didn’t throw me off.

We’ve seen an over-tired Ishu before. We’ve seen him get angry or upset when things don’t go a certain way.

But I think it’s rare for my parents to see it.

For starters, we (Ankur and I) have the pleasure of seeing all the things the rest of the world doesn’t see.

But, also, when we do send our parents videos and pictures of Ishu, they’re (obviously) the smiling, happy ones.

No parent is out there sending videos of their kids’ tantrums to people. (And if you are, you should probs rethink that). We – as his parents – are usually in the middle of the tantrum, trying to help him regulate.

So, yeah. Not very common for them to see a crying, thrashing, tantrum.

Fortunately, my parents recognized that we needed to end the call and take care of him. So they signed off. But I messaged my mom separately after the fact – and am now blogging about it here – because I think it’s important for people to know that every. single. kid has moments like this. No matter how happy they may seem. No matter how great the parent is.

Tantrums happen.

They are a normal part of child development.

Our kids have big emotions and they don’t have ways to let it out. So it comes out in the form of thrashing and screaming.

It is not a reflection of us as parents.

It is not because your child is spoiled and they are demanding they get their way.

They are mad about something and don’t know how to cope. They are tired and don’t recognize they’re sleepy. There is so much going on that they don’t understand.

But one thing they DO understand and can truly FEEL is a parent who will love them through it all.

So, yes, tantrums are normal.

You’re not doing a bad job.

I’m not doing a bad job.

Our kids are simply developing.

So let’s ride the waves with them and love them through the smooth ones and the bumpy ones. Especially the bumpy ones.