Yesterday, a kid called me “Miss Brownie.”
He thought I didn’t hear him, but when I heard him whisper it to his friends, I looked up, made eye contact with him and knew – immediately – that he was talking about me.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
1) I am pretty brown compared to all the other folks he’s interacted with.
2) He’s in 4th grade. He doesn’t know any better.
3) My real name is hard to say.
So, using this as a “teachable moment,” I said, “I don’t know if you’re talking about me right now, but if someone were to call me “Miss Brownie,” I would be offended. It doesn’t feel too good to be called that.”
Then, in true PBIS fashion, I suggested something he could do instead. “If you don’t know my name, you could always ask me and I’d be happy to tell you.”
The kid looked at me with his arms crossed over his chest and said, “Well, what is your name?”
“Miss Divya.” (They call teachers by their first name at this school so I’m going with it. It works in my favor because it would have taken me all year to get used to being called, “Mrs. Mathur.”)
He then turned to his friends and whispered, “I like Miss Brownie better.” He turned back to me and said, “What, are you a substitute teacher or something?”
At which point, the little rage-character took over the control panel on my insides. But I kept my cool and I walked over to him, looked him straight in the eye and said, “No. I’m not. I’m a teacher at this school. But even if I were a substitute teacher, I would hope that you’d show ANYBODY – teacher or not – a little more respect than you’ve just shown me. And, if you’d like, we can hang out tomorrow during your lunch and practice what ‘respect’ looks like and sounds like.”
Needless to say, he apologized.
Whether it was because I threatened to take away his precious lunch time or because he actually felt bad, I appreciated the apology.
But it’s not over.
I feel like this isn’t going to be the last time I’ll encounter situations like this.
I just hope that, over the course of the year, we can have conversations about this. Discuss what it means to look different, act different, and be different. Yet be tolerant – and respectful – of the people we share this world with.
Great Job! I wouldn’t have handled it so well.
What a powerful, important moment. So proud of you-you are amazing. At a time when it feels like tolerance and respect are dwindling everywhere, you are such an incredible teacher for giving the student the chance to learn respect. Thanks for sharing your story! So inspired!
You handled this very impressively- it’s hard to be cool as a cucumber, think and act rationally in these testing times. It’s hard with kids, or anyone for that matter- trying to establish a friendly rapport that still carries respect and has its boundaries. Well done and good luck!
This is so awesome! I’m excited for these kids to learn from you and to see how differences can be so beautiful. <3
Wow! You grabbed a “teachable moment.” and did it with such grace. Those kids are so lucky to have you. They have much to learn. xoxo
Good one, you got to be comfortable in your skin. No need to be offended by what somebody says, as somebody said: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
I also think it would be appropriate to share this with the other staff at school.
You are teaching this little boy an invaluable lesson. I know I remember and learned some good ones from my grade school teachers.
But, I am sorry he did not know better already.
WOW. You handled that like a pro. I probably would have lost it. Kudos to you! Hopefully the little punk learns a lesson in respect sooner rather than later.
Oh boy, DivPiv! I am so, so proud of you for handling this whole thing so calmly. I don’t know how I would have. So proud of you, Divpiv !! God bless you !!
Love you SadiDadiNani <3
Thanks for this story! These situations can be so frustrating, but I am so glad you can handle it the way you did and try to teach respect!