We’ve all done it. 

Done something for a kid that they are not developmentally able to do for themselves yet.

Not with bad intention. Of course not. But because whatever we did for them – whether it be draw a picture, build a Lego tower, or even use a toy in a way they can’t yet because they haven’t quite developed the motor skills – it made them smile. 

We see them smile. We see them light up. And then we’re like, “Okay, great! Let’s do that again so they continue to feel that way!”

I’m brought back to something that happened during bath time a couple months ago. 

If you’ve been around for a while, you know that bath time is Ishaan’s favorite. We have all sorts of bath toys available to him. But, if you’ve watched my Instagram stories, you know that his three favorite items to play with are: an old plastic Tupperware bottom, an old water bottle, and his shampoo bottle.

We have cling-ons and squirt toys and cups that trickle out water in a variety of ways. And he wants none of it. 

He is perfectly content with those three things. And, even without them, splashing the surface of the water is his JAM.

But in an effort to get him to simply notice some of the other bath toys, I picked the baby shark up. I filled it up by sticking it under the water.

“Look, look!” I said. He stopped splashing long enough to see what I was doing.

I squeezed the shark and water came spurting out of its mouth.

Ishaan looked at it with curiosity. He grabbed it from my hand, pushed it under the water, and lifted it back up. Back down. Back up. But it wasn’t working the way he wanted it to. The way it had when mama was doing it.

He’s too little right now to understand that he had to squeeze it to collect the water. Too little to understand he has to squeeze it to release the water.

He just kept lifting it up and down. Looking a bit disappointed that it wasn’t producing the same result.

So, naturally, he kept handing the shark to me. Communicating that he wanted me to do it. Over and over again. 

And, while I was happy to comply and play with him, I also realized a very valuable lesson that day.

First of all, if he’s perfectly content playing with whatever items he gravitates toward in the bathtub, there’s no reason for me to pull his attention away with other items.

Second, I don’t need to show him the “proper” way to use a toy. ESPECIALLY if he is unable to use it the way it’s intended to be used. Because it just leaves him a little disappointed that he can’t actually use it the way mama does. 

Ishaan is a genuinely happy kid. Unless he’s overtired, he’s happy happy happy. He stomps around the house or playground, exploring things independently. Seriously excited about life. 

And me trying to step in and “elevate” his experience is totally unnecessary and can actually be intrusive in a way. Interrupting his natural exploration.

This isn’t to say that you’re wrong for engaging in play with your child. But, sometimes, it’s good to take a step back. Notice whether your child is perfectly content doing whatever it is they’re doing.

And if they are?

Take another step back. And let them do it.