Some Level of Chill

Yesterday was an unexpectedly busy day.

We started the morning fully ready to take Ishu to school and then, out of nowhere, decided to go to the aquarium instead. 

So we did. 

We immediately went downstairs to see the sharks and the stingrays. And then we caught the sea lion spotlight show for the first time ever. Usually it’s dolphins or belugas, but yesterday was clearly the sea lions’ moment. 

We saw poison dart frogs and gross tarantulas and A PEACOCK MANTIS SHRIMP. 

Then we took the bus home. 

Riyu fell asleep so Ishu and I popped into Baskin Robbins for ice cream cones. 

Then, Riyu woke up and we promptly handed him an ice cream cone and, I mean, what a life. 

After a quick stop home to grab a change of clothes and Ishu’s swimsuit, we headed to the gym. I did some strength training with Franzi while the kids were in kids’ club, then scooped them up for swim lessons.

Dinner and showers at the gym.

Then a walk home for bedtime.

Later, while snuggled up in bed with Ishu, he mentioned he was still hungry. I asked what he wanted.

“I want a banana or cut up strawberries.”

“We don’t have strawberries, but I can give you a banana,” I said calmly.

“NOOOOOO, I really wanted strawberries,” he said, dramatically.

“Well, we don’t have any. What do you want me to do?” I asked. “I can serve you a pretend plate of strawberries. Here you go, your strawberries,” I giggled.

He pushed my hand away and grumpily declared, “I THROWED THEM IN THE TRASH……..I mean compost.”

I could feel myself starting to get annoyed. Until he corrected himself with the compost comment and I snorted.

This kid definitely has attitude. But he also knows what goes in the compost. So you win some, you lose some.

Anyway, I just wanna pat myself on the back a little for keeping my sh*t together all day yesterday. I’ve been sort of short and snappy lately. December was HARD. No routine, lots of sugar, not enough sleep, two weeks of sickness, two very clingy kids. I just feel like I HAD HAD ENOUGH. And I haven’t been my best self. 

But. 

Yesterday morning, I tried something different.

I played soft music, brought the kids into bed, and suggested we journal for a few minutes before starting the day. And somehow, SOMEHOW, they were quiet(ish). I finished my journaling while they did their own versions. Ishu made a list of what would make the day great. Riyu sampled all my pens and created a rainbow scribble.

And I think it really worked. 

Giving myself just FIVE MINUTES of calm and quiet helped set the tone for the entire day. 

I asked Ishu if he noticed that I was calmer and he agreed that his mom had SOME level of chill today. WOOOO.

So we’ll be doing that again today. 

Not as some productivity hack or a parenting trick. But just as a reminder that I’m human too. And if I can give myself some time to untangle all the craziness that is in my brain, maybe…just MAYBE…I show up softer and steadier and a little more like the mama I want to be.