I’ve been an avid social media user since 2004 when I first signed up for Facebook.
I’ve always loved it. And, over the years, I continued to add apps and networks and handles. I started a blog, I adopted the lingo, I mastered the hashtag.
Since moving to rural Tennessee, social media has been my saving grace. This online world has given me a forum to connect with like-minded people. To keep in touch with friends. To remind myself that there is GOOD in the world.
But, over the past two days, I am left feeling a little perturbed.
With the incident that happened in Vegas, there are people posting their fears, their concerns, their prayers. And then there are others who are using it as a way of educating others and giving people suggestions on what to do re: gun control laws and supports for Puerto Rico.
Everyone I follow has good intentions. (I mean, if you don’t, I’m pretty quick to un-follow. Don’t bother lecturing me on how I’ve created an “echo chamber” by un-following the online trolls. I’ve got some real life trolls to deal with so I like to keep my online world a safe space).
But that’s exactly my issue with it right now. It’s been my safe space. The place I turn to when I need to “be with people” who understand me. Who know how I am feeling. And who feel the same way. I dive into my phone and my social media outlets when my external world is too much for me to handle. (A terrible coping skill, but more on that later).
This week, though, I’ve been finding a lot of judgement. A lot of, “Your positive thoughts and prayers are going nowhere.” Or, “How the hell could you post a picture of your sandwich when people were massacred last night?”
I don’t know.
I feel like there are people grieving. And then there are other people who claim they are not grieving hard enough.
But, the truth is, most people don’t lay out their grievances and day-to-day agenda on Facebook for the world to see.
The person who posted a picture of their sandwich may have contacted every single senator to raise hell about gun control. Or the person who posts positive thoughts and prayers may have also quietly donated $500 to Everytown for Gun Safety.
People don’t put everything out there for the world to see.
And that’s something that is difficult for us to remember.
Social media is just a small snippet of someone’s life.
You can use it to troll. Or you can use it for good.
I think we all need to stop pointing fingers at others claiming they aren’t doing enough. And just DO the things that need to be done.
That being said, how are you using social media for GOOD today?
I avoid negative conversations and just scroll down. I subscribe to hobby groups so that my feed can be filled by interesting things 🙂
From time to time I stay away from social media. A half day fast or a whole day 🙂 Depends 🙂
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What we see on our timeline is what other people want to show. I’m spending less time on FB because I stopped enjoying it. It seems it is often so much negativity or bragging and I’m over it.
I now log on mostly to catch up with fellow bloggers on the groups 🙂 I enjoy blogging so much more than posting on FB.
People love to judge and social media seems to allow them that outlet. It’s kind of lame and invites negativity into your everyday sphere unfortunately
I have been avoiding Social Media for this reason too. You just can’t win. If you say something people are offended. If you don’t…people are offended. I try to stay out of it all, because my friends all have very different opinions. Thankfully for the most part we can all accept that like grown people. I feel like I have to scroll forever to get to the good stuff. Dogs, babies anniversaries! LOL . I love all that stuff! Happy Hump Day!
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I totally agree with this! It’s so frustrating to see people jumping to conclusions with strangers on social media.
You hit it on the head! I admit I truly love social media. I have made friends all around the world and have stayed connected with family and friends spread out everywhere. BUT like you said, in times like this social media can bring out the worst in people. But we do only see part of the story sometimes and I wish more people would remember that. I’m trying to use social media for good by spreading good vibes and just being kind to all. Sometimes that’s the best I can do!
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Social media is seriously just a time-waster and…. It also can cause some serious depression in so many. Thankfully for me, I just see it as a place where I can look at ALL THE FOOD PORN – hahahahahahaha, but I have heard so many horror stories of girls feeling less empowered because they are envious of someone else’s life 🙁
I like social media but Facebook tends to be the worse in terms of people being negative and judgy, so I don’t always pay attention to everything on there to be honest. I think people are too quick to point fingers, but it’s also okay to share opinions.
ShootingStarsMag recently posted…Currently October 2017 + Fall Bucket List
Great reflection. I just cringe when I see someone criticised for what they post, or when people are telling them how they should be feeling, what they should be doing or not doing. As you mentioned in your post, we have NO idea what this person has done that they have chosen NOT to share. Let’s not judge people based on OUR emotions. What works for one person does not necessarily work for the other.
It’s hard not to judge when you’re on social media, but yeah, you’re right, social media is not a mirror of someone’s life and what they do and don’t do when they’re offline. Sometimes being kind and giving the benefit of the doubt is the only thing we can do.
Ya, there’s no reason to be judgy and rude on social media—but it seems to have become an outlet for that exact thing. I like tumblr and instagram for the very fact that it is mostly images and less words. It’s very relaxing to scroll through.
As for Vegas, I just posted my feeling on the massacre on my blog. It’s not something I would normally write about but I just had to. I couldn’t ignore it. I hope it is for the GOOD. I have shared links on how to help victims. Great post, Divya.
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This is such a good reminder, Divya. Personally, social media is my outlet to be more relaxed AFTER I’ve poured out my thoughts and heart to my friends “in real life” who I’m more close to. I don’t share a lot of my deeper thoughts on social media because I’m not always comfortable doing so. So, I may come off at times as insensitive to those who follow me on Twitter, for instance, but they don’t see everything. And I have to do what’s right for me and what will help me not go insane. 🙂
You’re correct that social media is not the end all be all – I wish more people realized that. Here’s to less judging and more compassion.
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Wow Divya, your post really resonated with me. I met my husband on Twitter so social media will always have a special place in my heart. 🙂 I do find it challenging to be on social media after this type of tragedy though. I think it’s all about balance and do what’s best for you. I unfollow people and mute hashtags or conversations when I need to. On Facebook especially I don’t read comments. I don’t think social media is a waste of time if it is meaningful to you.
To answer your question, today I used social media to share a post for a friend about her daughter who is missing. Social Media can be used for good!
It’s such a big responsibility isn’t it? As a blogger, I want to be able to inspire and show readers only the positive and slightly curated side of my life, but I’m the first person to know that everything I see on Instagram is not a reflection of real life, yet I tend to get sucked into the rabbit hole and at times feel lacking about myself. I am trying to be more authentic and posting more real life moments and being more honest.
All great points! Social media NEVER shows the whole picture of our lives. I haven’t posted anything about the Vegas shooting because I have no words. I am so upset and sickened about it and have been reading updates nonstop… I really can’t stop thinking about it, but people may assume I don’t care since I’m not posting about it. I just don’t think anything I can say will change anything right now or make anything better. I can’t add anything to the conversation right now that hasn’t already been said time and time again.
1. I was on Facebook in 2004, too – wish we could have been friends then, hahah! FB was so boring in 2004!
2. “Social media is just a small snippet of someone’s life. You can use it to troll. Or you can use it for good.” YES. YES, YES, YES. We have to stop using social media as a tool to jump all over each other on the basis of semantics. It’s for connecting, not further dividing us – and we all need the former right now, and definitely not the latter!
3. Read Brene Brown’s new book, “Braving the Wilderness.” It’s about exactly this and you will love it so much. It’s helping me immensely this week.
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Love your take in this post. I try not to think to deep into some peoples posts and keep scrolling if strange comments are made – but you are so right that some people just use social media as a way to call out others – not cool.
A-flippin-men! People(we) always assume they (we) know everything about a persons life, when really, we know very little. Such a good reminder!
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Good Post Divya.
We should have a balance in life……. working, partying, exercising, eating, if all done reasonably … is good. Similarly exposure to social media should be in a balanced way in life.
Try and get the positive out of social media.
Do not Judge.
DO not be jealous.
Do not compete with others.
Bottom line is be a good human being and keep doing your KARM (duty) without expecting any results.
The results will come back to you thru the Universal Power.
AMEN.
i love love looooved this! you’re right — the smoke screen of social media is just a small snippet of someones life. i feel all self conscious as a mom because i’m like “so and so is KILLING it with her perfect hair and clean house” but they’re probably drowning in laundry and smelling like spit up too!
i use social media to keep in touch with family and to post pictures of my kids. so hopefully through all the negativity, a picture of my kid acting crazy will make a family member smile.
So true, social media is just a small tidbit of someone’s life. We never know what they are doing or going through outside of social media. Thanks for sharing.
It is always such a good reminder that even the most transparent and authentic social media posts only portray a fraction, a version of the truth. Thank you for sharing!
Great post Divya. Everyone deals with things in their own way, and many people don’t like to put personal things out on social media. In fact I think doing something good and NOT publishing it on social media is probably more likely to be more genuine an act than something that is announced to everyone.
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Social Media is ruining our lives …anxiety, loneliness, comparisons, time consuming, perfectionism…and the list goes on. We spend a lot of time admiring people’s lives instead of investing in our own lives.