Ever since I started working in a school setting, I’ve been exposed to the “PBIS way.” If you’re unfamiliar with all the educational jargon, PBIS stands for “Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports.” Essentially, schools are moving away from the traditional disciplinary model and moving toward a more positive approach.
The PBIS framework is used in schools to achieve positive behavior changes. It requires using evidence-based behavioral interventions that enhance academic and social/behavior outcomes for all students.
Cliffs notes version? Kids do better when they are praised for positive behaviors.
This got me thinking about how adults, myself included, are just kids. In bigger bodies.
Yesterday, at the gym, I was slamming a medicine ball against a wall in an attempt to get a good arm workout.
I was hurling the ball – with every ounce of energy I had – while, simultaneously, trying to make sure that same ball didn’t knock me over once it bounced off the wall.
Once the set was over, I was panting, knees on the ground, trying to use my now-useless arms to reach my water bottle.
One of the trainers looked at me and said, “You’ve got some strong mental energy. A lot of people give up halfway through. You persist until your set is done.”
Now I would use a lot of positive words to describe myself. But “strong mental energy” and “persistent” would not be in the Top 10. I get discouraged often. Especially when it comes to my physical fitness since it’s gone downhill since I started teaching.
But that one comment the trainer made carried me through the rest of my workout. I pushed myself. And when I was exhausted, I pushed harder. Her words continued to ring in my ears for the rest of the day. And, this morning, as I was getting dressed to go to the gym, I was reminded that I had STRONG MENTAL ENERGY. And I was going to KICK ASS at my workout today.
Adults and kids, alike, thrive off positive reinforcement. Not criticism.
When you tell a child they are lazy, they will be lazy.
Instead, when you catch them in those moments where they are being persistent and responsible, and you acknowledge them for being persistent and responsible, they own up to those characteristics. They start exhibiting those behaviors far more often.
Behavior goes where reinforcement flows. And, naturally, when you reinforce somebody for a job well done, they want to continue doing a great job. Doesn’t matter if you’re a student in a school or an adult at the gym, positive reinforcement is the key to positive results.
Question of the Day:
What, in your opinion, is one key component to achieving positive results?
One key component of achieving positive results is positive self-talk. Most people around us – regardless of whether they’re good or bad people – aren’t aware that negative reinforcement or any kind of negative words can have a profound impact on those around them. Because of this, it is important that we, as individuals, commit to always speaking words of positivity not only to those around us but to ourselves. Especially to ourselves. Just like the trainer planted a positive seed in your mind during your workout, you too can shift your mental state from negative to positive simply by remembering to be kind to yourself. Say, for example, that your trainer used negative reinforcement in attempt to push you. If this was the case, ultimately it would have been your choice to believe what the trainer was telling you or to remind yourself that you are strong and persistent. The way you talk to yourself will leave an impression on how you view yourself and the way that vision manifests itself in your life. So if you want to achieve results, self-talk, in my opinion, is one of the most important components of progressing on any front.
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You might not look at yourself using those words, but the trainer saw it in you. Glad the trainer spoke up and showed you what you don’t recognize in yourself.
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That’s a very good way to look at it! I don’t think it’s bad to tell a kid that they shouldn’t do something (hitting, lying, etc.) but if the only time we say anything is when they do something bad, it’s probably not going to have the best effect.
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This makes me think of the CICO (check in/check out) component of PBIS. I like that students who struggle with behavior can see all the positive things they do in a day, and see the positive mount toward a larger goal.
I feel like adults like feedback like that as well. We love to see things checked off our to-do list, to see the positivity of accomplishing something build up. We like to see a list of our successes/accomplishments at work, etc. Whether it’s personally – driven feedback or from someone else, positive feedback seems to make the most effective children and adults.
We are dealing with some teenage challenges with my son. I need to keep reminding myself to pick out the good more often.
I love that concept! I have been trying that approach with my parenting, I find my son responds better to positive reinforcement than a “don’t do that” type of discipline. I am glad to hear schools are starting to use this kind of thing more and more, I think it makes a huge difference! (And you’re right, adults need it too!)
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This post is SO spot on!!! I feel the same way- when I receive encouraging feedback, I push harder and am so much more motivated! We can help a lot of people using this approach I’m sure! Thanks for this today -hollybunker.com
One key component to achieving positive results is self praise. Speak nothing but good when talking to yourself and your children. Don’t bring yourself down. Be optimistic. With my sons especially my oldest I try to point out the good more than the bad. Anything that is bad I try to turn it into a positive of how to improve it and use that mistake or wrong doing to better himself.
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I love this post. I am always giving myself negative criticism when working out. Self praise is so important. Thanks for sharing!
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This is so true – in my classroom and out of it! I definitely thrive off of positive reinforcements, but I feel like those are way more rare to hear, especially once you’re an adult. Great job on having strong mental energy!
Kristen recently posted…Taking My First Steps Towards Running Again
We all need this! I feel like I get so down on myself and having someone else give me positive reinforcement makes all the difference
Could not agree more! A little positive reinforcement goes a long way.
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Absolutely! Positive reinforcement is so important! It’s amazing the efforts children and young people will put in when you just acknowledge the effort or good work they have put in. Even with students who can be a little more tricky to manage behaviour wise, if you can just find one thing to compliment them on, it can make so much difference!
Dominique recently posted…Why Does My Teenager Defy Me
One crucial component for me to achieve positive results towards any goal is to have the support of my family. They dont always get what I do or why I am motivated to reach a certain goal (and I don’t need that), but when they are still supportive despite thinking Im crazy, I feel like I can do anything.
The greatest human hunger is the hunger for recognition of a job well done. I have experienced this many times in my corporate career. I think we must focus on reinforcing the positive behavior rather than spending time looking for lapses and mistakes. In the parenting arena, I do my best to talk to my children as adults. No blaming, no screaming. Just calm, straight to the point two way conversation.
This is a great post and a nice reminder that we all need positive reinforcement. I believe the main component to achieving positive results is positive thinking. We have to create the habit of focussing on what is right instead of what is wrong, on what we do have instead of what we don’t, on the solution instead of the problem.
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This post reminds me why I took my children out of school to home educate them. As you said, positive reinforcement works wonders with children and we are now seeing the benefits of removing them from school.
Anything positive in our lives must start with the individual. Once we get that through our minds nothing can hold us back
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Those words of encouragement are like gold! That definitely encourages children more than just punishment.
Positive reinforcement can go a long way in encouraging and motivating children. After all, we all want recognition for the things we do well.
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Yup!!! I’m always telling my hubby he needs to use positive reinforcement when it comes to my daughter. He is always one to jump at bad things and it’s like ughhh… approach it better and you might get a better result