I’m probably going to get a lecture from the older generation about why I don’t need to share this on the Internet.

And yet.

I’m going to do it anyway.

Ankur and I have been married NINE YEARS TODAY.

NINE.

That feels like a lot.

To our beloved older generation, it probably seems like small potatoes.

But nine feels like a lot to me.

Especially seeing how much things have changed and evolved over time.

You see, a month after we got married, we shipped off to Harrogate, Tennessee. And, though we had visitors on occasion, we were really isolated out there. We made friends, stayed in contact with friends and family, and made the occasional visit home.

But, in terms of every day obligations, it was me and him. Him and me.

He was my priority.

Me + Doing well in medical school was his priority.

I WORSHIPPED him.

All you have to do is look back at some of my old blog posts and archived Facebook posts to see how much I was obsessed with him.

He was everything to me.

My favorite evenings were the ones by his side. And, even when we were on the couch together, it wasn’t enough unless I was SMUSHED up against his body.

Last weekend, we went out to dinner together. And I thought about how I so did not want to go out to dinner and make conversation. What I really wanted was to use those precious babysitting hours and lock myself in my room BY MYSELF and read a book.

I verbalized this to him.

I said, “This is all very confusing. Because I really just don’t understand how I wanted to spend all my free time with you back then and now I want nobody (including you) to look at me, talk to me, touch me, acknowledge my existence. “

He laughed.

He reminded me that we have YOUNG KIDS. That we are going to feel this way for some time. But that our underlying connection to one another is still there.

Our family started with us.

It will end with us.

And there are going to be a lot of tired, “DON’T TOUCH ME” days between that.

Yesterday, Riyu had dried up breakfast all over his face. Ankur was getting ready to leave for the office. I scooped Riyu up, ready to stand up from the couch to grab a wipe. And Ankur stood in front of me and handed me the packet.

And it was there, in that moment, that our conversation from last week came to the forefront of my mind.

This is the connection.

A different kind of connection.

He observes. He takes note and he sees where he can show up and how he can show up for me. And sometimes it’s simply in the form of handing over a pack of WaterWipes.

Anyway, this is all over the place. But I think that is how our life is these days.

And underneath it all.

We are connected.

And I love him oh so much.

Happy nine year anniversary to my partner in love and life.

Things sure feel different. But, through it all, I love you the most.