I was listening to one of the recent episodes of the “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast. (And, if you haven’t jumped on the Glennon Doyle train yet, why the heck not?)

This episode was mostly focused on their “pod squad” questions.

One woman called in and asked a question that has been swirling around in my brain for the past year of my life.

She said something along the lines of, “My kids are constantly wanting to play. And I constantly have one AirPod in my ear. Listening to a podcast. Listening to an audiobook. I feel like I need that ‘adult’ time in my life. I don’t want to play. But am I going to regret this at some point in the future? That I didn’t play?”

(I tried to go back and find the exact question. Because, as she was saying it, I was like, “IS THIS WOMAN SITTING IN MY HOUSE WATCHING ME?” But I couldn’t find it).

Anyway, that’s precisely the message she was conveying. One foot in, one foot out. Not being 100% present to either thing.

But NEEDING the “one foot out” throughout the day to keep herself regulated.

That’s how it feels.

I started using my AirPods with Ishu back when he wasn’t even mobile. Listening to a podcast while nursing him. Because half hour sessions of staring at my baby were lovely. But, after a while, I felt like I needed a little more entertainment.

And now? Now, I use them because I truly feel like it helps keep me sane.

Like my world isn’t ONLY filled with Elmo and Cocomelon and reading Snuggle Puppy for the 15th time in a row.

Sometimes I feel like the only reason I can get through one of Ishu’s more recent toddler tantrums is because I’ve got “one foot out.” The “one foot out” feels like it actually helps me regulate myself and not lose myself in his emotions.

But it also means I’m not 100% with him all the time.

And, yeah, I often do wonder if I’m going to regret doing this some day in the future.

After all, everyone keeps telling me to “enjoy every moment” because they’re “going to be off to college before you know it!”

But it feels really quite impossible to enjoy every moment.

Glennon’s answer was pretty simple. She said, “you think you’re going to regret this SOME day? Well, today is NOT that day.”

Basically, do what feels right TODAY.

I actually feel like I enjoy a lot MORE moments because I have this mini way to escape from my toddler-filled day for a little bit.

More than anything, it felt really validating to hear someone speak the words that have been rolling around in my brain. To know I’m not alone. That every mama craves some way to have “one foot out” in order to actually get through the day.

Now I’m off to go listen to some more Elmo. (But with one AirPod in).

This weekend, we’re going to spend as much time as we can outside while the weather is still in the 70s! Lots of live music happening this weekend and I’m sure Ishu will love that.

Hope you all have a good weekend and, if you’re a mama with an AirPod in her ear as you get through PlayDoh and episodes of Daniel Tiger, I’m standing in solidarity with you.