I was texting with my cousin a day after my birthday and he was apologizing for not calling and for “missing my birthday.” I laughed and said, “Hey, I pretty much missed it too.”

Not for real. But I was knee-deep in folding clothes and packing up suitcases on the day of my birthday. So it came and left and I didn’t really think twice about it.

The crazy part is…

As I’m typing this, it sounds like that would be disappointing, right?

The old me would have been disheartened that I didn’t plan a fun dinner out with all my friends. Or have a huge shebang with margaritas and tacos.

But present-day me? Want to know what I’m thrilled about?

How it came and left and I didn’t think twice about it.

Let me explain.

There used to be a time in my life (read: between 15-32 years old) where I would feel a crazy amount of pressure in May.

Like, “Oh, shit. Birthday month next month. THIS is going to be the year I do something about my weight. THIS is going to be the year that I drop 20-30 pounds before my birthday.”

And, inevitably, it didn’t happen. We’d inch closer and closer to my birthday. Three weeks, two weeks, one more week. And I’d feel upset at myself for letting another year go by. Another year that I didn’t meet some unrealistic goal on the scale.

So, instead of feeling joyous and happy and excited to celebrate my birthday, I’d have these nagging thoughts in the back of my mind. The “you could have done it, but you’re no good” thoughts. The “something is wrong with you because you can’t ever accomplish your goals” thoughts.

And this year?

It just came. And went. And I didn’t think twice about it.

There was no pressure in May to lose a certain number of pounds. No cutting back on carbs or sugars leading up to the date so that I could try to fit into a certain outfit.

There was no downloading MyFitnessPal for the months of April and May and June to ensure I stuck to a 1200 calorie diet.

None of it.

Like I said, it came, it went, and I didn’t think twice about it.

So, despite the fact that I was covered in dirt from sweeping out my patio and scrubbing the furniture clean, maybe this was my best birthday yet?

I’m not completely immune to diet culture. And, of course, I want to be healthy and energized. But letting go of some of those crazy things I used to think and feel? Well, I guess that’s the beauty of growing older. You get a little wiser too.