Earlier this week, I posted about Ishu’s pre-school prep class and there were a lot of people chiming in about how parents hovering can be worse off for kids and teachers.
But the thing is, when it comes to working with kids, there really is no blanket approach.
I get what people are saying when they say lingering parents can make things worse. I’ve worked in schools. First days and weeks can be rough for all parties involved.
But if you knew my kid…
If you saw my kid, you may feel different.
When we are in a room together, it’s as if I don’t exist.
I can stand in the corner and as long as I’m visible to him, he will wander off and do his own shit.
He needs to FEEL comfortable to get comfortable. And the only way he can do that is if he knows I’m there.
There’s no attaching himself to my leg. There’s no hiding behind me because he doesn’t want to engage or participate.
In fact, when we’re all supposed to hold hands and kids are supposed to walk in a circle with their parent/caregiver, my child is skipping around on the opposite end of the circle, leaving me child-less. Ha.
He is MORE likely to explore when I am there. He is MORE likely to engage when I’m there. Even if I’m up against the wall.
So, I guess what I’m saying is I get what other people are saying. But, I think the key thing to remember here is that there really is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to children.
I know my kid.
And he’s not a “rip-off-the-Band-aid” kind of kid.
He’s a kid who needs some gradual fading from his mama ’til he’s comfortable.
Again, I always appreciate the comments and opinions on my posts. It makes for a more engaging, interactive conversation and discussion. But I, too, want to chime in and remind everyone that every kid is different and will need something a little different. (That’s why teaching is so damn hard!).
I’ve got a kiddo who peels off the Band-Aid slowly. Sometimes the Band-aid is flapping around off his arm ’cause he ain’t ready yet. And that’s OK. Eventually the Band-Aid will come off. It always does. It just may come off a littler slower than others. And that’s perfectly alright with me.
Your post reminded me of my son’s first day of preschool, when he was 3. He said to me, “I want Daddy to take me to school.” I asked why and he said, “I’m used to saying goodbye to Daddy.” I was pretty amazed at that perception – I’d been a stay-at-home mom and was with him all the time, but his dad went into his office most days. And his teachers told me that on the days when his dad brought him to school, he separated easily, whereas when I brought him, he clung to my leg like a little barnacle! So, he was able to leave me at home to go to school, but not have me leave him at school. Like you said, every kid is different!