I pretty much don’t know how I wake up in the morning and function for another day. And then I remember that sleep was so much harder with Ishu. And I wonder how the heck we got through all that. 

The body can adapt so much to whatever we put it through. It’s pretty crazy. 

And somehow, despite the fact that BOTH our newborn and toddler had us up in the middle of the night last night, we both wake to see their faces and feel so much love. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? 

I think if anyone else were to wake me up that frequently, I’d kick ’em to the curb. 

But here I am filled with joy at seeing our middle-of-the-night alarm clocks. And I’m ready to do it all over again today. 

Wild. 

Yesterday, even though we kept Ishu home from school, we knew that some fresh air would be good for him. So we took him out for a walk and then hung out in the empty park. After about an hour, the baby was irritable and I had to go to the bathroom and we (minus Ishu) were all pretty much ready to go home. 

When the timer went off, he put on his shoes and we all walked out together. 

But the baby was crying and I knew if I just jogged a bit with him and moved the stroller from side-to-side, it’d help calm him down. And Dadi stayed back, walking with Ishu. 

By the time I reached the ramp to exit the other gates, I could hear Ishu screaming and a few seconds later, see him running toward me. He was screaming, “MAMA GO BACK, DON’T GO DOWN THE RAMP YET!!”

At that point, I had to go to the bathroom. And I wasn’t about to go back up and do it all over with him because he wanted to do it “from the beginning.” (<— his favorite thing to scream at us when we start doing something he wanted to do). 

So I shouted another one of his favorite things at him, in hopes that it’d diffuse the situation.

“SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!”

If there is a path that forks off into another walkway and then comes back together with the original path, he freakin’ loves to take it. So, for example, at the park, you can go down the ramp or you can go down the stairs. And he loves having one of us go down one way and him go the other way and meeting us ‘on the other side.’ 

I thought it’d help us reset the mood. 

Instead, he kept screaming. I ended up leaving the stroller for Dadi and then picking him up and carrying him the rest of the way home. 

Some more screaming at home.

Eventually, he fell asleep next to Dadi and slept for 2 hours. 

After his nap, we offered a trip to the park since he “really didn’t want to leave the park last time.”

And he proceeded to tell us that, no, he wasn’t crying because he was leaving the park. He was crying because “mama went down the ramp without him.” 

So then I apologized for going so fast without telling him why and explained that sometimes if I walk fast, it helps the baby go back to sleep. 

And the next thing out of his mouth surprised us so much. 

“Okay, next time, I won’t scream when mama goes down the ramp.” 

Because, often, when we make these repairs with one another, Ankur and I always talk about what we will do “next time.”

And I gotta tell ya. 

My heart sorta melted right then and there when he used those words without any prompting.

So then I did my part. 

I said, “And I’m sorry too. Next time, I will make sure I tell you before I start walking so fast.”

Anyway, it’s THOSE little moments that probably help with the whole seeing-them-in-the-morning-feeling-nothing-but-joy-despite-them-waking-us-up-a-zillion-times moments.

Ha. 

Anyway, going to go take the alarm clocks out for a walk this morning. Hope you have a happy day with a real strong coffee.