I’m currently sitting in one of the many conference rooms in this hotel. If you follow me on social media, you know that I’m at the NASP (National Association for School Psychologists) annual conference. Because it is in Atlanta this year, I was able to drive here. And because I’m a student, I was able to get a discount on the ticket price.

I knew that this was going to be big. But I didn’t know it was going to be over-5000-humans big. Well, I guess I knew. But I just didn’t feel prepared for it.

I’m an extrovert by nature. But I am also in over my head right now. Most people have come with colleagues or at the very least know people here. I am flying solo.

And that part of it has been OK. My first actual session yesterday was an early career networking event. (Which happened to be in this very room that I’m sitting. Isn’t it funny how when we find ONE comfortable space, ONE space where we have a positive experience, we keep returning to that space when we feel flustered? I feel like that’s very true about my current situation, but it’s also just so applicable to real life).

But, yes, the career networking event gave me an opportunity to meet some folks who are either students or in the first two years of their career.

I feel like it was really helpful to have that session be the first one I attend. Because it helped make this big, huge conference feel a little less intimidating.

Anyway, I keep feeling like I don’t really “deserve” to be here. Because I’m not a practicing school psychologist. Because I don’t quite know which rating scale to give to parents when I’m trying to evaluate a student for X eligibility. I am just very much in the learning stages of it all. Which, logically speaking, makes this conference a very appropriate place for me to be. Still, I do feel SO INEXPERIENCED.

In true Divya fashion, every time I feel a little hesitant or nervous about something, I pull out my goddess cards. They help me set my intention for the day and give me something to keep coming back to when the yucky, uncomfortable feelings come back.

I got Dana.

Which didn’t make sense at first. I have Divine knowledge that can help others through my spiritual teaching?

I just didn’t feel like this was very relevant to my situation.

But then I read the description of the card:

“Your wisdom extends back into the far reaches of ancient times. You’ve brought this knowledge forward into your present incarnation, to be a way-shower so that others may benefit from your experiences. Don’t delay in expressing this wisdom. I will assist you in manifesting platforms for your spiritual teaching, whether it’s through teaching by example, or through writing or speaking. All forms of teaching are equally valuable, no matter how many lives you touch.”

I think it just drove home the point that I’m not a nothing. I don’t need to feel *NERVOUS* about the fact that I’m in a place with so many experienced school psychs and I’m just starting out. (And, by “so many experienced school psychs,” I really mean THE WORLD’S GREATEST. Richard Woodcock, the author of the Woodcock-Johnson, is here in the flesh and I got to meet him yesterday).

I don’t need to feel intimidated that I’m just starting out in my career.

I’m coming from a special education teacher background. Sure, my wisdom may not extend back into the “far reaches of ancient times” as Dana suggests. But, I come into this field carrying 7 years of experience as a teacher. That’s valuable stuff.

I’m going to be able to consult and collaborate with teachers knowing what kind of shit is on their plate at any given moment.

I’m going to be able to evaluate a child and recognize that a teacher might want to be a little more involved than simply showing up and seeing that a child is now added to their caseload.

I don’t need to feel like I’m at a disadvantage because I’m just starting out.

I’m starting out because I just bagged 7 years of solid experience that is going to help me be a really solid school psychologist.

So, before I take off for this second day of learning, I am just going to sit here for a little while longer. Take a few deep breaths in and out. And remind myself that I deserve to be here. That the minute I let go of this belief that I *don’t* deserve to be here, it’ll free up my mind to really take this all in.

Hope you all have a beautiful day. I know I will!