My Nani spends most of the day in her bedroom. She likes that space the best because her chair is more comfortable than the couch. She’s in close proximity to her bed so she can easily take a nap when she gets sleepy. And she’s got her TV and headphone set in there. Which really makes it a nice little space for her.

She will come hang out in the living room from time to time. Especially when we’re all there.

The other day, I told Ishu, “Let’s go get Badi Nani from her room!” Wanting to bring her out into the living room so she could hang out with us.

“Bah-nini moom,” (Badi Nani, room) he said as he ran toward her bedroom.

Ishu ran into her room and pointed at her and squealed, “BAH-NINI!”

Immediately, Nani had the biggest smile on her face. She slowly stood up and grabbed her cane to walk out with us.

Ishu – who has been obsessed with her cane since he first laid eyes on it – took it from her.

And, instead of pausing or asking me to get it back from him, she said, “Chal, Ishaan ne liya, to ab tum mere paas chalo,” (Well, Ishaan took it, so now you walk with me), she said as she reached for my arm.

This is who she is.

It’s not like, “Let me find a way to get my shit back.”

It’s just her mentality to think, “Oh, one of my kids needed something. So I’m going to let it go because it’s obviously more important to them and I’ll figure out a workaround.”

This is what so many mothers do.

At least most of the mothers I know of.

It’s in their nature. To give and give and give and give. Until there’s nothing left to give.

And now Nani – with her limited eyesight and her limited energy – has very little to give. But whatever she CAN give, she will. Including her cane. At least temporarily.

I think we’re raising a new generation of kids.

Kids who will grow up and – hopefully! – see that their mothers are human beings. And that there are going to be some moments when their mothers simply can’t – and shouldn’t – give and give and give.

It feels selfish when I think about it.

Because all the mothers that came before me have done anything and everything for their kids.

But, dammit, when I’m in my 80s and my great-grandson takes my cane from me, I’ll probably demand it back and then whack him with it.

Ha.

Anyway, it was just another of many moments I’ve watched how Nani has played The Giving Tree for this family. It’s a controversial book, I know.

But then again, it is the exact role a lot of mothers have played.

Especially immigrant mothers.

Sacrificing everything so their kids can live a better life.

So their kids can then grow up to be mothers who don’t HAVE to sacrifice everything.