One of my favorite things about Thursdays is that I spend most of the day in counseling sessions. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate those empty spaces on my calendar that I get throughout the week so I can actually get reports done (because, as an intern, they still take me f-o-r-e-v-e-r). But Thursday is the day that gives me life.

I spend the majority of the week behind a computer or testing kids. So it’s really nice to have a full day of 1:1 counseling with kids to rejuvenate me.

One of my little ones is a former Rocketeer that I spent a lot of time with when I taught back at RBM. We have a pretty close bond and I feel like he and his family know parts of my life that even my current co-workers don’t know. When I started working here and found out he was going to be on my caseload, I was ecstatic. And, during our first counseling session, he remembered things from three years ago that I had forgotten myself. 

Anyway, I thought it was important to tell all my kids that there’s a baby on the way and I won’t be finishing up the school year with them. Especially this kiddo. During one of our counseling sessions earlier in the school year, he asked if I ever wanted kids of my own and I said, “Absolutely!” He responded by telling me, “Noooo, then you’ll have to leave again.” Which absolutely felt like a punch to the gut because 1) I already knew I was expecting at that point and 2) I always feel so much guilt when I leave schools. Even if it’s at the end of the school year and a normal time to transition. There’s something about having kids for multiple years as a SpED teacher that makes it really hard to move on.

Anyway, it was important that I tell him so we could begin talking about it and planning for a transition.

A couple weeks ago, we were sitting together on a picnic table outside the front office and I said, “Hey bud, I wanted to tell you something.” He looked at me and then looked off in the distance and said, “Tell me what?” I responded and said, “Well, do you want to guess what I’m about to tell you?” His head snapped back in my direction and he said, “You’re pregnant?”

I was a little shocked that he was able to figure it out without me hinting at anything (and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t showing at that point). I laughed and said, “Wow! You’re good. How did you figure that out?”

He smiled and pointed to his head and said, “I know things.”

Anyway, I was a little fearful about how that conversation would go and if I would be able to navigate it successfully. But he didn’t really leave me a chance to second guess myself because he started rattling on about all the things he was going to teach our baby boy to do. He asked me things like, “Are you going to trust me to drive your baby when I have my license?” Before I even gave him an answer to that first question, he said, “When I’m a famous rapper, I’m going to get you and your kid front row seats at my concert and give you guys a shout-out.”

And, ever since that moment we shared on the picnic tables, it’s something he asks about constantly. But not in a, “Are you going to leave me and forget me?” kind of way. More in a, “You’re gonna be a mom but you’re also gonna be in my life forever” kind of way. 

And I absolutely love it.

Because it’s something I feel so strongly about. I am not one of those people who can inherit a new group of kids and move on. I want relationships with my kids and their families for life.

And, based on what these last couple of weeks have shown me, it sounds like my little one has caught on. Apparently he’s making plans to teach our kid how to rap and swim and bike ride. 

Now I don’t know if any of that is actually going to happen in the future. But the sentiment behind it is there. That even though I’ll be leaving mid-year, I’ll still be in his life for the foreseeable future. For him and for all of my little ones.