“Let your kids be bored.” I hear that. All the time.

And, often, I would think about a teenager wanting to scroll through social media. A 10-year old wanting to play the newest game on their iPad.

But I never imagined I’d find it relevant as I parent my one-year old.

I’m part of a “positive parenting” group online and I saw this quote, yet again, on a shared post. And it resonated so deeply. In a completely different way than it would have a few months ago.

You see, I used to nod my head when I heard, “Let them be bored.” I used to encourage parents I worked with to limit screen time.

But now, as a mom to a now 1.5 year old toddler, I realize that it actually takes ACTIVE effort to allow boredom.

You see, when you’ve got a toddler, you get to experience the world from their point of view. Everything is so new and different. When you’re at the playground and he sees a helicopter overhead, it’s like, “WOW, SOMETHING IS FLYING OVER MY HEAD.”

But, over time, when you frequent the same places over and over and over again, your toddler doesn’t stop everything they’re doing to catch sight of the helicopter. They take a quick peek and then they’re off to do the next thing.

“Been there, seen that,” he probably thinks.

Lately, we’ve been spending a lot more time in the apartment.

Ishu had a runny nose for a little bit. And then there were a few rainy days. So, he’s been padding around the place, surrounded by his old, familiar toys.

He isn’t crying or irritable. But he’s just plodding around. Picking up a toy, playing with it for a little bit, and then moving on to the next thing.

And there’s a part of me that feels guilty.

A part of me that thinks…wait, I’ve seen you experience JOY before and this isn’t it! Why aren’t you squealing with excitement the way you do when you’re at the splash pad or in front of a live band?

Why aren’t your eyes so big and your smile so wide? Where is your wild left arm?

It’s not that he’s irritable or whining. It’s simply that I don’t see that explosive joy that I’ve become accustomed to seeing when he’s experiencing something new.

And, it’s in those moments that I feel this pull – this responsibility – to provide him with more stimulation.

It’s in those moments I feel an urge to turn on the TV.

Don’t get me wrong. We love Curious George around here. Obviously Ishu does. But I love it because it allows me to cook dinner or get stuff done that I normally wouldn’t be able to do with a toddler crawling all over me.

But turning on the TV because I NEED to do something is different than turning on the TV because I feel bad for my kid. Because I feel like it’s on me to provide him with entertainment and stimulation.

And I have to remind myself – in those moments – that boredom is OK.

It doesn’t apply to older kids.

It starts now. With our toddlers.

We’re so accustomed to seeing them squeal and be excited about EVERYTHING. That as they transition from experiencing something new to experiencing something again and again, we think we need to do more.

But stepping back and giving them the freedom to explore – even if it’s not producing that full-body, explosive joy – is important. It’s okay for there to be calm moments in our day. Moments when they are not bombarded with stimulation.

And it’s not on us to provide them with constant entertainment.

It’s okay for him to be bored.

It’s actually more than okay.

Question of the Day:

What is the last thing you – or your kids – produced when you gave yourself – or them – the time and space to be bored?