Ankur was on call last night, so it was just me and Ishu.

I picked him up around 3pm from school. I usually ALWAYS have a snack on hand to offer him, but 5/5 times I’ve offered him a snack these days, I get shot down.

And then, since it’s freaking freezing outside, it’s not really easy to eat in the stroller because we either have his mittens on his hands or stuff his little body into the cozy ganoosh, no skin exposed.

So, figured, I’d just leave the snack at home yesterday.

And, OF COURSE, the one day I leave it at home, he points to another kid eating a snack in their stroller – on our way out – and says, “I want a snack like dat one.”

I said we’d hurry on home and get a snack.

When we got home, I offered him some popcorn.

He wanted it in the bag.

I – unwilling to hand over the entire huge bag of popcorn – started pouring some into a plastic bag.

“NO, I WANT IT IN A BOWL!”

Dumped it into a bowl.

Moving right along, we got to the dinner portion of the night.

Rejected it.

No dinner.

“NO DINNER, MAMA.”

I let it go.

Then, 45 MINUTES after trying to put him to sleep, he climbs on my back and looks me in the face and says, “Mama I’m hungry.”

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…

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So, of course, I scramble out of bed, ready to throw some toast in the toaster oven.

He said he’d eat some jam and bread.

So, I started making that. In the mean time, he wanted a pouch of yogurt. Go for it, kid. Dig in.

He dug in.

And then, I spread the butter and jam. I asked him if he wanted to eat it like that or if I should fold it.

“Folded!”

I folded it.

“Do you want it in small pieces or big pieces?” I naively asked.

“Big pieces,” he immediately responded.

I cut them in big pieces.

“No, small pieces!” he exclaimed.

So I cut them in smaller pieces.

“BIG PIECES!” he shouted.

I picked up a piece and put it in his mouth and, perhaps a little too loudly, firmly said, “TOO LATE.”

He’s playing me for a fool.

And I’m the fool falling for it all.

I was talking to my friend who has been in a similar situation with her own three-year old. She said that she has started letting him know that the kitchen is closed when the light is off.

They will offer a snack before bedtime (BEFORE getting in the bed) and then if he doesn’t jump on that, kitchen is closed ’til tomorrow morning.

So, Ishu.

TONIGHT?

THE KITCHEN WILL BE CLOSED. SO EAT YOUR DINNER OR BEDTIME SNACK OR BUST.

I’M THE GROWN-UP, DARNIT.