Yesterday was quite the thriller. Not in the same way that Tuesday was. At least I was able to keep my tears under control – which is always a plus in a professional setting.

On Tuesday, when I got home from dinner, I noticed the engine light of my car had gone on. Now, usually maintenance lights don’t really faze me. And I had had a REALLY long, emotional day. So, instead of dealing with it, I turned off my car, walked inside my apartment, and passed out without thinking too much about it.

When I got in my car to drive to work yesterday, I made a mental note to get it checked over the weekend. And then, right when I got on the freeway, another light turned on. And then another.

And then the engine light started blinking. Meanwhile, my car started shaking a little bit. So, I tried to navigate the car with my knees while flipping through the manual to figure out what was wrong with my car (…so if the car itself didn’t kill me, my driving probably would have).

Luckily I made it to work in one piece. 

Before I got out of the car, I scribbled down the number to the dealership to call at some point later in the day. At around noon, I called them and told them what was going on. After hearing what happened on my drive to work, they told me that I should deal with it sooner rather than later. And, since I had IEP meetings scheduled until 6:30 in the evening, I decided to rush over there mid-day.

I have a lot of anxiety about leaving work in the middle of the day. I don’t know why. It just makes me nervous. So, on my drive over to the dealership, I could already feel my stress level increasing a little.

When I got to the dealership, I pulled up and the service guy asked me a couple questions and then said, “So you’re OK with leaving your car here for a couple hours?”

I started panicking a little more because 1) I didn’t think I would be able to make it back to pick up my car by the end of the day and 2) I realized at that point that I didn’t have a way to get BACK to work after I dropped off my car.

So, I got even more flustered than I already was. When he asked for my license, I handed him my credit card. When he asked me what my address was, I stared at him blankly.

Luckily, the nice man was really patient AND he told me about the shuttle service that they offer to people who need a ride back to work/home. So, my stress level was no longer increasing. Still high. But stable.

When I took a seat in the shuttle, I started relaxing a little bit. I was chatting it up with the driver, just happy to be heading back to work within the hour.

As we were merging on to the 280, I asked the driver a question. He didn’t respond at first. So I asked him again. And he put his hand to his heart and said “Wait. Wait,” while tapping on the left side of his chest.

I went into FULL BLOWN PANIC mode and started thinking that this man was having a heart attack. I started plotting ways to take over the shuttle should he keel over and not be able to control the car. I pulled out my phone in case I needed to call 9-1-1. And my heart started racing and my body started sweating EVERYWHERE.

A few seconds later (but what really seemed like an HOUR), he responded to me and said, “Sorry, I was adjusting the volume to my hearing aids. What did you say?”

Stress level at this point? Through the roof.

Needless to say, it took me a few minutes to recover when I got back to work.

Lesson learned from the day?

We are all going to die at some point. I, however will probably give myself a heart attack before that happens with all the crazy scenarios I play out in my head.

Made it through Hump Day alive.

Moving forward.