Heal Yourself to Heal Others

I go to therapy.

Sometimes I feel guilty saying I go to therapy. As if I’m taking up a spot for someone that may need it more than I do.

I mean, for God’s sake, I spent half-an-hour talking to my therapist about how I am having a hard time being present with my toddler. Some days I feel like I’m half-assing it all. Trying to bounce between being a mom and a school psychologist and a sane adult.

When I think back to that session with her, I think, “My God, Divya. You are crying about not being present in your day-to-day. And other people are going through traumatic experiences, trying to process very big challenges going on in their life.”

But, as my therapist said, “That’s precisely WHY this is good for you. This is an investment you made in yourself. And when you keep trying to tell yourself that your problems are smaller than others, you continue to put yourself last.”

And she’s right.

To be frank, I think therapy is for everyone. Everyone.

It’s a little taboo in our culture to say that outright. I’ve tried to explain the benefits to some people, but it’s like I’m speaking another language.

“Why would I do that when I can talk to my family?” they push back.

You see, it’s very uncommon to discuss personal struggles with anyone outside the immediate family.

But being someone who works on supporting other people’s mental health – day in and day out – I see how helpful it can be to talk to someone who isn’t wrapped up in your life. Someone who is completely unbiased. Someone who isn’t necessarily telling you what to do, but simply asking you the right questions to help you process the craziness going on in your mind.

A few weeks ago, I signed up for BetterHelp and it was the best decision ever. You can find a therapist and meet with them weekly via video chat, phone call, or even text message. There are also groupinars you can attend that focus on anything from skill building to relationships to trauma or depression. And one of my favorite features is the journal. They will e-mail a daily journal prompt and having that time to check in with myself has been so great.
“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people that didn’t cut you.”

I made this choice for me.

But I also made this choice for him.

So I can be a regulated, calm, loving, PRESENT adult. An adult who isn’t projecting her own shit onto him. But someone who can think clearly and parent consciously.

He is worth it. So am I. And so are you.