When we first found out we were moving to rural Tennessee, I had to mentally prepare myself. I’ve lived in cities – or the outskirts of major cities – my entire life. So I never imagined myself becoming a “small town girl.” Although I would hardly call this place a “town.” It’s got a few restaurants – mostly fast-food joints. And it’s got a lot of land – beautiful countryside land that’s mostly littered with garbage and old furniture and junkyard cars.
Still, I knew that Ankur’s experience at this school was worth the 2-4 years in this little ghost town.
And that’s exactly what I kept telling myself. “It’s temporary. It’s only two years. I can do anything for two years.”
And when I started working at the county schools here, it became my mantra. “This is not my career. I’ll get BACK to my career in two years when we move somewhere else.”
And then when November came, I would tell myself, “Only one more month and then it’s winter break.”
And then after winter break was over, I took comfort in knowing we were only here for 1.5 more years.
It’s been a countdown since he got accepted into school.
“Everyone has to make occasional sacrifices in the present moment in order to have a more successful future.” It’s what I’ve always been taught. It actually makes sense – to some extent.
Hustle now, reap the rewards later.
However, over the past year, I’ve been living my life as if our time here is just an obstacle that I need to overcome. My “right of passage” to get somewhere better.
Many people live their lives like this. Where THIS moment is not good enough because they need to get to the next one.
Eating breakfast while thinking about what you’re going to make for lunch.
Being unable to enjoy Saturday’s events because you’re already worried about Sunday creeping up on you.
Texting friends to make plans for later in the evening WHILE you’re “enjoying the company” of friends during brunch.
I’m guilty of it all.
And it’s continuous stress.
So I think it’s time to put an end to it.
Happiness is in the PRESENT.
It’s time to stop the countdowns and find happiness in the now. Because I DON’T know where we are going to end up two years from now, five years from now, ten years from now. Who knows where our journey will take us? All that I can control is the present.
And to count down the days and the minutes to something “better” is not only not practical, but it would rob today of its joy and its beauty. Even if it IS in a ghost town.
Questions of the Day:
- Are you guilty of counting down to “something better?”
- How do you work toward staying mindful and in the present moment?
Definitely guilty but I am also trying to change. So true. All we really have is this moment.
I needed to read this. Im definitely guilty. Im so busy and pulled in so many directions that Im always thinking ahead while missing the enjoyment of the now. Planning is great but I need to enjoy whatever moment I am having in THAT moment.
I whole-heartedly agree. Being present in the moment is one of the keys to happiness. I hope you’re soaking up the outdoors while you’re there. 🙂
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Yes, yes, and more yes. I think we’re all guilty of this–it’s why meditation is constantly on the rise 🙂 We simply lack the ability to live fully in the moment. I love that you recognize that counting down the days, weeks, years is doing nothing but removing you from enjoying the present–not everyone has this realization.
Sometimes I wonder if we’re plagued by FOMO… or if it’s something else? Anyway, interesting topic and great blog post, Divya! PS: Loved seeing that pic of you and your hubby <3 So cute!
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This is great advice. Carpe diem: seize the day and live in the moment.
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I absolutely agree! I was living that way when we returned to Germany after our time in the US, I was living in the past bc I was so homesick for Chicago, not able to enjoy the present always blocking me from the now.
Life is so much more beautiful since I started living in the now!
Great post, friend! xxx
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I’m so guilty of this. Thanks for the reminder to seize the day!
Absolutely guilty of this! Its so hard to be present and to be happy in the present.
I am guilty of not being happy in the present moment. Getting caught on the “just get through this to achieve X” train. I have only recently learned to be happy in the here and now. It is still a struggle at times.
I am happy to say that I am no longer guilty of this. I used to always try to find happiness in what was coming and not in the present. I often felt disappointed. Now I savour all the great moments. Yes you still have some time to go, so enjoy all the great things you can. Happiness is a choice and you can be happy every day of your life.
You know what..I so envy you. This is the best time to enjoy. I wrote one post on this in my blog abt 5 lesson moving to the UK taught me about life. Now that I look back, I really treasure those times when we move to the UK due to my husband’s study. Enjoy..it’s so true. The happiness is in the present.
I get exactly what you’re saying. I work at a school that I don’t like, and I often find myself counting down the days. But lately, I’ve been telling myself that, while this school is not where I want to be I the future, it is where I am NOW. I’m looking for what I can say I’ve learned and what I can apply to my next job.
Nice thoughts for a Monday morning!
I am SO guilty of this. I’m always thinking about the next moment, the next day, the next event. I really do need to slow down and just be IN the present moment. It’s so, so hard to do, but it’s necessary. Thanks for the good reminder to try to slow down and do that!
You make a really good point here. It is important to be in each moment.
This was what I needed today .. thanks for the post and boosting me up😊😊
Wonderful post. I think we’re all guilty of this at some point. While I think looking to the future and good plans is a good way to staying happy, there are still ways to enjoy the NOW. I find that doing something nice and relaxing, like reading or taking a bath/shower, are good ways to just settle down and focus on all the good that is occurring in the present day.
-Lauren
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Definitely needed to hear this in the current place I’m in (literally & figuratively). Today’s also the International Day of Happiness!
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I love this and I need to remember this as well. I’m in a similar situation – my husband and I moved from NYC to rural Indiana. The population here is around 5,000 and it’s the county seat. We so miss the hustle of the city and all the food and culture. But we do have a beautiful home and this town has its charm. There’s also a lovely donut shop. So I try to remind myself of that whenever my heart is aching to get back to the city.
My husband and I moved twice in the first year of marriage because of his career, so I can kind of relate to what you’re going through with temporary living situations. It’s hard to put down roots when you know you aren’t staying.
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I’m guilty of this so much. Often times, I have to unplug and just enjoy being in the moment, and try not to think about what’s happening later that day/week/month.
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I am guilty of doing that for sure. You are right happiness is now, if we keep counting down to something else we will totally miss everything right in front of us.
So I will start by saying I have lived in at least six different states and many a small or ghetto town and honestly you can be happy anywhere. There are times you may not like the place but you have to go out of your way to find something anything to love. I always no matter where I live find a “favorite” spot it really helps
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Really love the questions you ask at the end of this post. I am definitely guilty of counting down to “something better.” Will have to watch out for that. Thank you for sharing!
i relate to this one hundred precent. About a year ago, my husband and I decided we wanted to move to Florida. However, we had to wait for him to finish school. I was constantly counting the days until he was done, missing everything in the present. I also forgot about how much I would miss everyone and everything once we moved. I love Florida, don’t get me wrong, and I am so happy we moved, but I definitely relate to taking for granted the exact time and place I am at and not focusing on all the good in the moment!
I love this post. I’m guilty of counting down the days or even time of when it will be over or when I can leave, and I miss the important aspects. The way that I’ve been getting better is just finding joy in something whether that be in the fact that I can walk home from work, or I can see my family, or even as small as, there were deer outside today…i try to find something positive in that moment, because when I do that, I feel happy and I don’t feel like i’m wasting my time.
I love this post! I used to be the queen of this. But then after I got sick, I have become so much better and enjoying and living each day in the moment. I mean sure, countdowns help us get through life, but they can’t determine our life for us right? Thanks for this reminder and inspiration today 🙂
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“How true, how true” said the Sour Kangaroo, “And from now on, you know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to protect them with you!” And the Young Kangaroo in her pouch said “Me too!”
–Dr. Seuss
Your post reminded me of this quote.
I love this. I am learning meditation and yoga teaching and it is something we talk about regularly. Always living in the present. The past and the future bring depression and anxiety. Thanks for sharing this!
Always enjoy the now. A lot of people forget to be thankful for the very moment they are in! If people pull themselves back into the now they would live a much happier life
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I’ve been guilty of this. Moving a small rural town gives me anxiety like you wouldn’t believe and I know I would probably exactly the way you were feeling. But just last year I started concentrating on the present. I now meditate each morning. It’s almost a year since I started this practice and I’ve noticed a calmness. Staying present has become a state I remind myself to enjoy.
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This is a great perspective to have. I definitely find it difficult to focus on the present a lot of the time. I need to keep working on it!
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It is hard to keep yourself in the present always; it takes a lot of practice, but even with a lot of practice, you have to remind yourself daily. These are great ideas to help live in the moment and remember your own happiness!
This is so inspiring because so many times I don’t think about the NOW because I am so eager or anxious about what is ahead. I love the “Hustle now, reap the rewards later.” line and to also enjoy things as they come. Really great post!
I relate to this so much! Waiting for happiness to come find you in the future is a trap. I too am going to try to find the joy in the present and stop waiting for the weekend, for summer, for next year.
I had every. single. one. of these thoughts about where we lived, my career, and the general direction of our lives while Jake was in med school. Living for the present is TOUGH, especially when the future is so uncertain. You don’t have control over many of the big aspects of your life right now. But you do have control over the little aspects, like finding time for hikes or taking up a new hobby, that will make it possible to live for the present.
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It’s true. A big part of why I left the job too. I kept telling myself, “Yes, I’m miserable. But it’s only temporary.” But I needed to remind myself that I wasn’t just trying to survive until we get out of here. This is my life. Right here, right now. So if I am miserable right here, right now, I need to do something about it.
I love this post–you’ve been open and vulnerable about something you’ve obviously struggled with. I lived in a town FOR TWELVE YEARS and the whole time, I could not wait to leave. I made myself incredibly unhappy with my dreams of another city, another place–ANY other place. Over and over, I recounted the things I hated about where I lived. It wasn’t until I began to count the things that I LOVED that i was finally at peace with my time there. I started to think about the things I was grateful for, and I started getting out and DOING some of those things.
Good job on recognizing that you can be happy in the now.
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Yes while its great to have things to look forward to, we all must not wish our time away! Great perspective and reminder to all 🙂
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Thanks for stopping by! In other news, I LOVE your blog name! 😉
I love the message of happiness in the present. We are always on our phones and looking towards the future, it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the moment. I too moved to a tiny town (it’s like 5 streets), and this took some getting used to but it’s charming and I know it’s just part of the journey. 🙂
I am so guilty of this. For me, what really helps, is to just put down my phone. It seems to distract me from what is on front of me all the time. Pointing out what I don’t have, who I can talk to, what I should take pictures of, what I should be reading, political drama, TV, movies. All stuff that prevents me from talking with and enjoying those on front of me.
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This is so true! Sometimes life gets so busy that all we can think about is the end goal and not enjoy the current season of life we are in.
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I’ve found myself being totally guilty of this before. I am always looking for new ways of being present and being happy with what I have now. Thank you for sharing!
I believe it is really important to live for the present. Without sounding morbid, tomorrow isn’t a guarantee. I’ve seen a few reminders of this in the last few months. Embracing the present and attempting to enjoy living somewhere completely different than you ever imagined could be an experience you’ll never forget!
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Thank you for this post. I feel terrible at times with the way I am being pulled in different directions. So I appreciate reading that I am not alone!
This is a really great post. I struggle with this on an almost daily basis. I’m very much a planner who is always looking toward the next thing. I will say that since becoming pregnant it has been a bit easier for me to slow down and enjoy the now without waiting for the next thing!
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Definitely guilty of this. You make an excellent point- it’s not really something most people think about. I was forever counting down the days while I was at my old job. I’m much happier now, but I still find myself counting done once such-and-such is done or xyz happens. I try to remember that I’m very fortunate to be exactly where I am now with all my comforts- and if nothing ever changed I would definitely be happy and healthy and better off than many many people in the world. (Not that comparison is a good thing, but gratefulness is.)
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This is such a well written post.
Yes we all should learn from it.
The power of NOW.
AMEN……..
xxoxoxoxo
wow – this really resonates with me right now. I keep telling myself that the job I have isn’t going to be my job for long – or that I’ll finally be happy when my blog takes off. I need to remember to just be in the present and appreciate the challenges and circumstances for what they are. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing this post.
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I feel that the majority of people deal with this – always wishing life away and waiting for “tomorrow”. I know in my personal life, I’ve looked back on times and wished I had appreciated them more. This helps me be more present in my life as I know how quickly each day can go.
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I WAS reading the comments of all your followers.
“Everyday Joey” Her reply captured my attention.
We all should read her responses and implement it into our lives.
Enjoy those that are currently with you instead of trying to reach out and connect with far away family/friends via social media.
Live Life for NOW.
This is such a great reminder! As a teacher, it is so easy to get caught up in counting down until the next break. Thanks for this! 🙂
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Happiness is totally in the present! I find myself wishing for the weekend or for the summer or my vacation…whatever it may be, but recently I decided to start living each and every day as a happy one! This is our only life, let’s live it up!
So true… we defer our happiness to the future all the time and the future remains in the future forever.
you pretty much described me..im always looking for the next event/things/travel and i need to stop doing that. living in the present and embracing that moment is what i need to do more of. thank you for the reminder friend.
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I grapple with this because I have a mental illness and chronic pain – when I’m unwell which is fairly often, I’m constantly looking to tomorrow to be well that I forget that even in my darkest times, there are things I can be thankful for.
So what do I do?
I journal.
It may sound ridiculous but it does help to pull me back – ground me. I journal the things that make me happy/smile/laugh, the things I’m thankful for – and yes, even when I am so bloody depressed, I can find things even if it is just one thing. Meditation is also a wonderful thing.
I’m glad you realized the importance of being happy in the moment. I think we all go through seasons when we know we aren’t ultimately where we want to be, but that doesn’t mean that season can’t still hold happiness. Bloom we you are planted, even if you are only there for a bit.
OMG Divya I am totally guilty of this. For as long as I can remember. And I know it’s not how I’m supposed to approach life…but I still do it!! Now that I’m older and more aware, I think things have gotten better. It’s a hard habit to break lemme tell ya. But I think being aware that you’re doing it is a huge first step.
I love living in the present and appreciating every single moment. I’m glad you have realized how important this is to your overall happiness.
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Oh I am so guilty of this. Until recently, I never gave much effort into the present day.
You’re so right about wanting to rush to the next thing and not being mindful. So much of my life I look back and wish I could do it all over again, but one day I’ll feel the same way about today. Thanks for sharing and offering such great perspective.
Sometimes I’m very guilty of it. Specially with school. I could not wait for school to be over with. Thinking about time has also deferred me from signing contracts that could help me just because I couldn’t imagine myself being tied to a place for a fixed amount of time. But I’ve been in the same workplace for almost 2 years and if I would’ve signed a contract in the beginning, I would’ve been almost done. In hindsight i guess.
This is so true. It is all about happiness in life. Awesome post!!
You are so right. Living in the present is the right thing but it is also very difficult to do. I have to say with age it does get easy. Enjoy each and every day.
Such a lovely heartfelt post! Its so true in so many ways that we always look forward to something else in life when we can find so many reasons to be happy about in the present scenario!:)