Late blog post coming at ya this morning. I was originally gonna post this picture with the cute little one-liner that this guy kept chanting this morning.

“IT’S NOT A BACKPACK, MAMA. IT’S A FRONT-PACK.”

Yeah, it’s cute. 

He does cute things.

But, also, let me tell you what preceded this picture being taken, yeah?

One hour before this picture was snapped, I had a kiddo who refused refused refused to put on his jacket. At one point, I had him sitting on the stove (IT WAS OFF, DON’T WORRY) trying to zip him up. 

He was NOT having it. So he swiped at everything on the top of the counter that he could possibly reach. Nice, mom. Real nice.

I finally got his jacket on and zipped. Only to have him pull it back down and throw it across the hallway.

“NO JACKET, MAMA,” he said.

I knew he was tired.

And hungry. 

He woke up at 5am really wanting milk. Milk is his jam. But when he’s coughing, I tend to avoid it. (Last time he had a bad cough, he threw up all the milk all the time). 

He’s not coughing as much as he was last time he was sick. That’s for sure.

But, still, I didn’t wanna risk it.

So, he’s pissed because he’s tired. And he’s pissed because he’s hungry. (But refused to eat much of anything else). And he’s pissed because his CRAZY MOTHER is trying to make sure he’s warm before he steps outside. 

Eventually, he climbed into the stroller. Sans jacket. But he let me tuck the jacket around him, making a little blanket of sorts. So, off we went.

One hour of trying to put a damn jacket on. That’s what went on before this picture was snapped.

We got to school and it’s like something switched in his little body. He began following the steps to put his outside shoes on the shelf and put his inside shoes on. He was excited to see his teacher. Hung his jacket on the hook. ALL THE THINGS THAT TOOK ME 85 HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS MORNING.

I have to take deep breaths and remind myself that it’s normal.

That it’s normal for him to fall apart when he’s with me. It’s normal for him to get his sh*t together when he’s at school. 

But, man, some days, it’s hard to not take it personally. As if I’m doing something wrong or not SAYING it in the right way. 

But, now that he’s settled in school and I’m settled here at the coffee shop after a great, great workout, I am feeling okay.

So here’s a little reminder to myself. 

This is all normal, mama. 

You’re doing the best you can. 

90% of the time, you’ve got a pretty happy kid. And 10% of the time, you’ve got a little monster. A monster who is a monster because he has so many feelings and isn’t quite sure how to parse through them and figure out what he needs in hard moments.

And, fortunately for you, you get to have a little bit of space from said monster. To focus on you. After 2.5 years, you get to POUR SOME LOVE BACK INTO YOURSELF.

So that when you are with the monster, you can put the best version of yourself forward. And tame the monster a little bit. 🙂 Or at least try to. 

Okay, well then. 

I’m going to sign off and finish some reports. And probably head back home to clean the kitchen floor and pick up everything that has been thrown to the ground. 

Have a great one folks. STAY WARM. WEAR YOUR JACKET. BYE.