I grew up in a family that valued efficiency.

When I play passenger in my papa’s car, I notice how, sometimes, when he approaches a red light, he’ll make a right turn if he can somehow get back on his route. So he doesn’t have to wait for the light to turn green.

When Sister lived in DC, I distinctly remember a conversation I had with her where she was boasting about her productive morning. Because she had managed to make some returns at Target, get her eyebrows done, and finish a run. All before 10am.

It’s in our blood.

We Budhrajas like to be efficient.

I see bits and pieces of that in me.

Like when Ankur and I walk into the grocery store together, I say, “Okay, now you get the pizza dough and the cheese and chicken sausage and I’ll get all the veggies. BREAK.”

To which he will sometimes respond, “Or we could just do it all together?”

After five years of marriage, I’ve learned that he does not value the saved minute or two and I should probably stop requesting that we split up the list to be more efficient.

(His love language is quality time, so it makes sense, I guess. It’s either that or he doesn’t know where to find the pizza dough at Trader Joe’s. HA. Jokes).

Anyway, I think the “efficiency” switch inside me is turned on, even if I’m not consciously aware of it.

I’ve shared bits and pieces of our nighttime routine on social media. Ankur brushes Ishu’s teeth. And, during that time, I like to crawl into bed and lie down and scroll through my phone. Before Ankur plops him by my side.

And, sometimes, before doing that, I’ll unconsciously get the room ready. I’ll turn on the sound machine, turn the light off, and close the blinds. And THEN I’ll crawl into bed. And, every single time, Ankur undoes it. He turns the sound machine back off. He turns the light back on. And he opens the blinds.

Inefficient, right?

But he does it intentionally. Because he wants Ishu to turn the light off. He wants Ishu to turn the sound machine on. He wants Ishu to be a part of all the things.

It’s not efficient. It doesn’t save us time.

But I see how there’s value in not always chasing efficiency. In tacking on a few extra minutes. Especially when it gets Ishu involved. He’s so proud that he gets to be a helper in setting up the room.

And I’m learning – one day at a time – that efficiency isn’t everything.

Sometimes the longer path is the best one.