Yesterday was an “I-Wanna-Quit-My-Job-Kind-Of-Day.”

Now, let me preface this post with a small warning. I’m not going to quit my job. Because I know some of my Rocketship family is reading this and I know they are going to message me with concerns and support and all the love. (Logan – I’m looking at you <3 )

I just had one of those days. Those days where you pause to look around and, at any given moment, there are 5 million things going on and you don’t know how to tackle them all.

So I didn’t. Instead, I sat back and watched it all. And wondered where I fit in among all the chaos. The negativity started taking control of my mind. I felt overwhelmed, over-worked, and over-stressed. And I just wondered whether I’d have the stamina to make it all the way to June. [Yes, it’s only been a month of school. I realize that.]

I love my kids. I love my role. I love the teachers I get to work with. But, for a few hours yesterday, I felt ineffective and wondered whether it was even worth it. All the things that could possibly fall apart yesterday DID fall apart. Myself included.

So, naturally, I consulted the goddess cards.

I ended up picking Mary Magdalene – Unconditional Love. One sentence from the reading really hit home and made me think about the chaos and craziness with a different lens.

“The lower levels of human bickering, judgment, and chaos are just that: lower levels. I choose to do my work from the level of the higher consciousness, where love reigns supreme. It’s here where the most good can be done, and I urge you to do the same.”

It reminded me of our yoga instructor’s words about the battle between mind and heart. “Let things that truly need to fall apart, fall apart this month. Let things go haywire and do what they do. Don’t fight any of it and especially don’t try to figure it out with your head. It won’t help. Just drop into your heart and listen.”

I’ve been criticized before for being an overly emotional person. I think with my heart. Not with my mind. I don’t always make cautious, researched, rational decisions. And, more often than not, I go with my gut and rely heavily on my feelings.

But, today, I remind myself that this is not a weakness.

To be in this particular field doing this kind of work requires that kind of emotion. It’s what keeps me here. It’s what keeps me afloat when my mind tries to take over. It’s this unconditional love that I have to pull from when everything else falls apart.

So, we’re gonna keep trekkin. Today’s a new day. A new adventure awaits.