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A few weeks ago, I was sitting in an IEP meeting for a child that had recently gone through the RTI (Response-to-Intervention) process. After the psychologist went over her evaluation and explained to the parent that John* qualified for Special Education, I jumped in with a description of what his day-to-day would look like.
I explained, “Not much will change about his schedule. But he will get pulled out for 45 minutes daily to receive reading intervention services in my classroom.”
John’s mother patiently waited until I was done breaking down the schedule for her. She then looked at me and the rest of his team members and then glanced back at me. She responded slowly, “No offense. I’m sure you are a wonderful teacher, but I think there’s a negative stigma attached to your classroom. John has made comments that it’s where all the stupid people go to get extra help. I worry about what that will do for his self-esteem.”
I stopped and stared at her blankly. The words replayed over and over in my head. That word “stupid” made me cringe.
Before I even had a chance to respond, the other team members jumped in and agreed with her.
They AGREED with her.
As I passively sat there, the rest of them brainstormed ways in which they could relay the information to John. “Oh, we won’t tell him he’s in ‘Special Education.’ We’ll just tell him that they changed tutors after Christmas break.”
Another team member chimed in and said, “Well, maybe you can put him in your second group because that’s when the whole class transitions to their other block. That way, it will look more natural when he’s packing up his stuff.”
Eventually, I found my voice and bravely said, “I disagree. I think we’d be doing a disservice to him, his ability, and his future if we don’t inform him about the decisions we are making. It may actually cause more damage if we try to hide the services he gets as if he should be ashamed of them.”
I carried on.
“With all due respect, I make it very clear – to each and every single one of my students – that they are NOT in my room because they are stupid but because they need a little extra support. I explain to them why they haven’t been successful in the past, I help them figure out a method in which they can learn more effectively, and then I support them as they generalize the skills they’ve learned in small group to the classroom environment.”
Disability Awareness for Kids
It’s been a few weeks now that John has been in my intervention group. I’m still unclear whether my words resonated with John’s mother or whether I was lucky enough to quickly build a strong relationship with John. Regardless of how it happened, John is the first person to show up every single day. He is always eager to be there. And he has never once indicated any signs of embarrassment that he needs the extra support. In fact, he takes the initiative to ask for help when he needs clarification on an assignment (in both my classroom and the general-education classroom).
I’d like to think it’s because we allow for open conversations in my classroom. One thing that I like to do with my students is read to them. Stories about kids – just like them – that have a difficult time in school – just like they once did. Most of the time, my kiddos are able to identify common behaviors between the character and themselves and make connections about their own experiences. This opens up thoughtful dialogue about different learning styles. And it helps them embrace themselves and one another.
Being transparent with your kids about why they learn differently, what accommodations and services are beneficial for them, and how to communicate with both peers and adults about their needs helps them develop self-advocacy skills that are vital as they get older. But, more importantly, it helps them build confidence and boosts self-esteem to know that there really is absolutely nothing wrong with the way they learn. It’s just different.
Disability Awareness for Kids: Additional Resources
Questions of the Day:
- Have you ever had to have a conversation with a child about the way they learn?
- Do you remember what Special Education was like when you were in the K-12 system?
*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of my student and his family.
Sadly, that stigma is there in regards to special classrooms. That doesn’t mean it’s right, it just means it’s there. When I was in k-12 I was in extremely advanced classes in a private school and there were no classified children (that I am aware of).
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I am going to check out the books soon. Thanks for sharing info on a very important and sensitive topic.
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Oh no! I really dislike it when I hear children (or anyone for that matter) talking about others being “stupid”, especially when it comes to those children who need the additional support. I’m glad to hear you stuck to your guns to ensure that little boy got the support he needed – it’s so important to build up the self esteem of students in those classes, and it sounds like you’re doing an awesome job 😉
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Great post! I think the term “special-ed” does have a negative stigma, but it’s only because somehow it got associated with the word dumb or stupid. My child has ADD. So yes, we have had discussions about learning disabilities, etc. We homeschool, so it makes catering to her learning quirks easier. I honestly hate the negative stigma. All children are different, which means they ALL learn differently.
Oh my goodness, way to stand your ground. It’s so sad that John felt that way (I hope that his mother addressed it with him, when he told her that). I am sure he is going to flourish! 🙂
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My son has autism so I’ve sat through many IEP meetings. In elementary school he’d go to the resource room for extra help.
My daughter is neurotypical without an IEP, but I have explained that all kids learn differently. She’s very understanding because she has a brother with autism and has helped explained things to other kids.
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Thanks for sharing these points and very helpful to all.
Always be kind, and have longer patience as possible 🙂
I am so grateful there are teachers out there like you helping kids who do need a little extra support. I am learning more about kids with disabilities as my church prepares to hold a prom for them in two weeks with the help of the Tim Tebow foundation. First off, I was naive about so much – like not saying “special needs kids” but ” kids with special needs” because they are a person first. And that while they may have a disability visible to the rest of us, they often have skills we can’t see initially and hearts of gold.
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My kids are teens, but this is something I talked to them about when they were. I didn’t tolerate teasing kids and especially not one with a disability. Teaching kids early on in your behavior and by conversations with them puts them on the right path.
Thank you for this insightful piece. I am completely new to it, and I have learnt a lot by reading through your article. It feels good to know that teachers go the extra mile to help kids with needs.
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When I was in elementary school everything was separate, I could imagine that there were some positives and negatives about the past setup.
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This is an amazing, and much needed post! These books look great!
The word “stupid” makes me cringe, too. I’m glad you held your ground and that this kids is clearly taking strides forests because of your initiatives and help <3 you are a wonderful teacher and a blessing to these kiddos, momma. Xoxo
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I have these books too! I love reading them with my kiddos. Great tips, girl!
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Kids in special education, when I was growing up was picked on and made fun of. They were kept in a separate part of the school away from the normal students.
When I realized my daughter was going to need special education classes I cringed. As I remember how hard it was for kids when I was growing up. It is no different. she is 16 years old and still get the extra help she needs through school. The classes have been a god send. As I was at my wits end and did not know what else to do to help her learn.
I think you are correct in how important for the children to know why they are in those classes. They should not feel ashamed for getting help they need.
Stupid is a word that should never be used. This is a post that everyone needs to read and share.
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Thank you for explaining to the adults and having an open conversation about special education. It’s a shame that we as adults continue the stigma by trying to hide or sneak kids off to their individualized groups. From special needs mom and occupational therapist I love this post! Found you on Blog Promo Community
Wow that is so sad. My daughter had to go through reading intervention at her school and not once did anyone tease or make fun of her. I think it is all about the school and how they relay the information to students so they dont feel bad about having to get help. I love your response to them. I hope the response to those types of statement gets better response from your co-workers next time. It seems like they need more training.
Kudos to you for finding your voice and speaking up. Your students are lucky to have you as their teacher!
I love your response so much! I agree that hiding that information from him would have been wrong!
My daughter went to ESL classes when we were in the US for her to learn the language and it was the best thing that happened to us! She went there because another teacher from Kindergarten had proposed that school to us!
A lot of parents thought it was the class for the stupid kids, until we educated them about how special these kids were as they were all growing up bilingual!
I hate those stigmas and I hate that so many people worry about what others think. I am sure John’s mother was probably more concerned she would be the mother of a stupid kid than her kid knowing he needed a little extra support – and what is wrong with some extra support! It only shows how special that kid is!
Kudos to you for being such a strong woman and amazing teacher!! xxx
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When I was in school there was a stigma associated with being a student who goes to special ed. I wasn’t one and I glad…I didn’t want to go to special ed because of that stigma. Now I work in a school with an amazing special education program. We also work to make sure that stigma doesn’t exist in our school. We’re a small school and about half of our students are in the program–many of them come because of it–so that helps, I’m sure, but I’d like to see that stigma disappear in every school. Thanks for sharing this!
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What a wonderful post. Kids are quick to categorize into “groups” and with no help from the parents most of the time. I feel it is very important to encourage children to always be friendly, don’t judge or bully, and to remember everyone learns at different paces and everyone is better or worse at something than someone else, etc. This encouragement needs to come from parents as well, not just the teachers. My son is 4 and wears hearing aids. He went to a (pre) pre-k program last year with some of the children that are in his class this year. There was no big deal over his hearing aids last year, most kids didn’t even notice them. Now this year he is already getting picked on and “nobody wants to play with him”, he says. He doesn’t even want to wear them to school now and he’s only 4! He’s not even in any special classes or speech because he has caught up with tremendous speed. Let’s keep up the disability awareness.
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Your response was so perfectly stated. I’d like to think that it had an impact on the student’s mother. Regardless, I’m so glad he’s attending your class. You’re clearly a wonderful teacher.
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My son works with special needs children. They are not stupid and he is not wasting his time teaching and spending time with these children. Everyone needs a chance.
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Ugh, I don’t have kids and I didn’t have a special-ed classes in my school days but I dread having to tell someone that he/she/their child needs special education, that must be terrible.
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children do not like to be separated/segregated because they are different. I remember my eldest son said he hated to go to his “gifted class” because he felt singled out from the others in his regular class
I love the idea of the books. Its so helpful to have them so kids can relate.
I agree with you! It would be a disservice to avoid informing a child of his or her disability. Knowing that they learn differently, will only help them in the future! Great job speaking up.
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As someone with a disability myself, I applaud all your amazing work!! It’s teachers like you who are really making a difference…
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It really is important for people to understand what’s going on with disabilities. I was a nanny for a little girl with Autism, and it was important that people understood that she wasn’t just being a “bad kid” when she was struggling.
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You were really brave for standing up for what you do and what you know works. I completely agree with what you said. The problem doesn’t lie in your classroom, but rather, outside of the classroom, where these other parents and teachers should really be working on their kids’ perceptions–not changing how you do what you do best!
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I love this! As a teacher myself, I’ve had several students with IEPs (I was a general education teacher)…many would tell me in conferences that they couldn’t do or understand the work because they were stupid. I knew their potential…I could see it in their conversations, their interests, and their effort. I worked hard to show all my students, IEP or not, that I KNEW they could achieve hard things because they had the ability to do so.
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You are a great teacher Divya. Your kids, their parents, your school, your co-workers are so blessed to have you in their lives.
God Bless you!!
I just ordered both the books from Amazon and shipped them to you.
You may gift it to one of your deserving kids or their parents.
A little token of love to You for being You.
xoxo
Parental attitude is a great obstacle, and the stigma attached to special ed is very real. I had to fight with it every day for 15 years when I was running a private school for students with special needs.
I’m really glad that John has you as a teacher. I think he’s going to thrive in your class knowing he has the ability to ask a question and get help, when in other classrooms it’s not permitted. I’m not sure what his mother was thinking here, but I’m glad John is doing well and arrives there every day with a good attitude ready to learn.
This is such an important topic,glad you shared it. It’s always important to teach children and spreading awareness so that it’s helpful for them in future. Amazing work!!
Xo,
Shreya
https://mymagicaltrunk.com/
I am so happy that you broached such an important topic such as this. Back in elementary school I had to go to speech therapy. My math slightly suffered for a the year but I easily caught up later on. Sometimes some people need a little extra help to get to the point of success.
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I think it’s great that you decided to speak up. I can’t believe parents would say that even before they hear about the plans. I love how passionate you are at what you do. Keep it up.
Pardon me for saying this, but I think there are also adults who need this awareness campaign, too. You’re a great teacher and mentor! I’m sure kids will learn a lot from you!
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I think all parents should be aware and teach their children on good behavior! Children learn from adults person! Great post !!
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When I was in the classroom, I would grow increasingly agitated about the fact that my group of student were referred to as the “regular” cluster versus the “magnet / pre-AP”. Then, they even said some teachers referred to some classes as the “lower” classes and it drove me nuts. I had to break down to them the reasons why I differentiated in my classroom and how we each learned differently but had different strengths. Student A might not show much mastery on a traditional formative assessment but will outshine everyone in a project. Keep fighting!
My daughter and I have spoken about disabilities before. It is something we should teach all of our kids! 🙂
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This is so great. My son has epilepsy and I never want him to feel like he is less than or not as smart as other kids.
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Ugh I despise the word “stupid”! I’m grateful there are books out there to teach children they aren’t and there different way of learning. Thank you for sharing your voice.
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My son had a lot of issue in the first and second grade. We spoke to him only in English when we live in a French province. It made things hard for him, and he had to get special classes 2-3 times a week. He’s doing great now and speak fluently but the first two years of school were hard.
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I’m teaching in a wonderful school that integrates traditional students into the disability classrooms for volunteer times. It does a great job of helping ease the stigma that’s been attached years prior!
Very helpful ! It is important we are aware of these things.
www,learn2livefully.com
Fantastic, can I reblog this. This is just, I have no words, wonderful.
Wow…my mouth literally dropped open. How awful. I’m so glad you spoke up and things worked out as they did!
What a challenging & also rewarding job you have. While growing up, unfortunately, when anyone had to leave class for additional help, it was also viewed negatively. My mother worked in Special Education, I also witnessed it at my own schools when kids would have to leave class.
So, I suppose it depends more on a case by case situation as far as how well the individuals personally dealt with it…but, you handled the situation quite well 🙂
Wow, it makes me sad that he feels this way about your class. I’m sooooo happy you found your voice and decided to speak up!