Well, my friends.
I couldn’t go through with it.
After six attempts at doing the daycare thing, we pulled him out.
I’ve gone over all the “what if’s” in my head. What if I had him go EVERY day instead of every other day? Maybe the consistency could have helped. What if I had him stay ALL day long instead of half a day? Maybe the length of time matters.
What if I put him in daycare starting at 8 or 9 months? Then he wouldn’t have built that strong mama attachment yet and he would have grown with the daycare.
What if, what if, what if.
But I’m going to stop torturing myself with that. Because there are a million and five things I think I can do different. But, at the end of the day, we are where we are.
I know all babies cry. I know it’s a normal process and I was willing to let there be a little crying.
What I wasn’t so willing to do was leave him with people who were ignoring him right after I dropped him off. Granted I only saw one snapshot of what probably happens in a day. And maybe ignoring/”crying it out” is the way they handle the new toddlers.
But, that coupled with the little communication and my strong mama gut told me that this wasn’t the right place. This isn’t the right time.
So we are in the process of searching for a part-time nanny.
It feels a lot like online dating. Filtering out people. “Non-smoker,” “has own transportation, “COVID vaccinated,” and so on and so forth.
We’ll see what comes of it. Seems like there are a LOT of families looking for nannies, especially in this area. Hopefully we can find something soon.
I have spent a good chunk of time thinking that I “failed.” That I wasn’t strong enough to watch my kid go through that. That if I simply walked out of the room and didn’t look back, maybe he would be OK eventually.
But I couldn’t do all those things.
And, sometimes, it feels like a fail.
But, also, I don’t care. I am blessed with the time and the flexibility right now to figure out a different plan. I know that not everybody has the option to weigh things out, but I feel fortunate that I can. And so I will.
This isn’t a failure. This is me knowing my kid. Knowing what he’s ready for. Knowing what I’M ready for.
And, right now, daycare isn’t it.
Did the right thing . I didn’t put my kids into a group situation. Until preschool age where they really benefited from playtime And group play . They cried a few minutes the first day or two then loved it . Had to go back to teaching .. it was a great preschool too . You have options
I’d never judge a mother for their decision. (I don’t have kids, so I can’t have an opinion anyway LOL but I definitely get that you weren’t happy with how things were going and then it’s the right decision to find alternatives!)
I think you did the right thing for you AND Ishu and that’s all that really matters, right? I’m not a mom myself, but I also know that day care isn’t right for every kid…just like certain types of schooling isn’t right for every kid, and on and on! I hope you can find a great part-time nanny!
ShootingStarsMag recently posted…September 2021 of Books Giveaway Hop: Sign Up Time!
Hey Divya! It’s Mik! Just meandering around your wonderful blog. Me and Lauren will have to make the daycare, nanny, etc. decision sometime soon for Adrian. He’s so small I can’t imagine taking him out of the house let alone leaving him someplace for hours on end. During a pandemic, with so many unknowns, with my first child, I am not a fan of the idea of sending my baby to daycare. I don’t think “cry it out” or “self-soothing” is healthy and I will do whatever I can to avoid the type of situation you were describing. Thanks for the informative post! Ishu looks so cute!!!