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I’ve always told people that I’m bilingual.
I can speak both Hindi and English.
It was important that we spoke Hindi growing up because our parents and grandparents wanted us to be able to communicate freely with our relatives and family friends. But – even more importantly – they wanted to preserve their culture and their language. They wanted to bottle it up and pass it down to their children with great care.
So I tell people I can speak both Hindi and English fluently. Because my definition of “fluency” is: an ability to successfully hold a conversation in the language.
Yes, I can do that. In both English and Hindi.
But what you won’t necessarily see from the outside is that when I am holding a conversation with someone in Hindi, I become self-conscious and embarrassed about my accent and my stuttering over conjugations of a verb. I choose to keep the conversation to a minimum and won’t elaborate on my experiences – something that I have no problem doing when the conversation is in English. I also tend to lose patience or get angry when someone asks for clarification because it’s a reminder that this is a weaker language for me – a language that requires more brainpower and energy to navigate.
So, you can understand why I prefer to speak in English – a language that is more comfortable for me. A language that flows easily – without any thought.
This preference is not unique to me.
We – as human beings – prefer to communicate in a way that is most efficient and natural to us. We want to convey our thoughts and our inner feelings in a way that’s easy. And, when it’s not easy, we tend to clam up or express what we need in an alternate way.
This is why babies cry.
This is why your toddler throws tantrums.
It is how they are communicating what they need.
However, just because your child has started speaking, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have mastered the ability or the skills to communicate effectively. In familiar situations (e.g. playing with friends at school, asking for something to eat), they may not struggle in communicating what they need. But, in situations that may not arise as frequently (e.g. conflict with peers, conversations with adults), they may not be able to express themselves as naturally. This could lead to anger and frustration or avoiding conversations altogether.
We must supply our children with the tools and vocabulary they need in order to navigate unfamiliar territory. The more we can communicate with our children in the earlier years of their life, the more they are able to apply those communication skills independently when we are not around.
Communication Skills Activities
Play with your child.
When they are younger, model how to play with their toys. Pick up their Barbie dolls and act out a conversation. And when your child is old enough to do that on their own, ask them questions about what they’re doing. The more they use words in conversation, the more comfortable they will feel with them.
Stop and ask questions in the middle of reading books to them.
While reading books is important in and of itself, pausing in between pages to ask your child questions helps them formulate sentences when they’re making predictions or talking about a picture on the page. If they are struggling to communicate, have some handy phrases ready for them. “I think _____ is going to _____.” Or “I think ______ feels ______ because ______.”
Play board games like Taboo or Catchphrase.
These are games that require you to describe a word without using the word itself. This forces children to develop their vocabulary and language in a fun, interactive way.
Click to buy on Amazon
Click to buy on Amazon.
Name items that you see when you’re walking or driving in the car.
One thing my dad does – whether it’s intentional or not – is he tends to narrate his viewing experience as he drives. He will see a laundromat on the left side of the car and will call it out. A few seconds later, he’ll see a restaurant and read the name of the restaurant on the sign. He notices things and communicates them out loud. This can trigger conversations about unknown things. Even as a 30-year old, I find that I’m learning new things as a result of him narrating his own experience.
Watch TV with your child.
Watching Little Einstein? Or Dora the Explorer? Ask your child what might happen next. Talk about the characters. Are they happy or sad? You can even act out a scene together and make up a different ending.
Shop for groceries together.
While shopping for groceries, discuss what you might buy, how MANY you need, or what you will make once you’re home. Discuss the size (large or small), weight (heavy or light), and color (brown, tan, gray, etc.) of the different items.
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The common denominator of all of these activities is that there is constant conversation. There is questioning and asking and describing happening in each of these activities. In order to develop communication skills, you must communicate. Often. It is then when your child will develop a comfort with the language. A comfort that will allow them to navigate the language in both familiar situations and unfamiliar situations. A comfort that will allow them to be truly “fluent.”
Questions of the Day:
- What would you add to this list?
I love that you mention pointing out what we see while in the car. I recently started playing “I spy” with my 2yo and was surprised to see how quickly he caught on!
This is great. My toddler is learning new words everyday and practicing communication all the time. These are great tips and suggestions for me to have right now, especially with a child growing up in a multilingual home.
Sheri recently posted…How To Save Time And Boost Your Productivity
Great tips for communicating with the kiddos! I use a good portion about this stuff with my child so I feel like super mom now. 🙂
Megan Campbell recently posted…3 Things That Go Into a Photograph
Although I don’t have children, I do go grocery shopping with my mom. It is kind of our communication moment.
Solid advice. Communication is so important. My kids are grown. My youngest is 16, but we have a new grand daughter who is 8 weeks old. I will have fun practicing these. I loved reading to my kids when they were young. I also watched their tv shows with them and would talk about the content. I am still very close with all of my kids. We do Sunday dinner every week (like Blue Bloods) and everyone comes together.
This is such a terrific post. My three sons are all grown and on their own but I truly believe that the great relationship I share with them today is because of the communication I shared with them from the moment they were each born. I remember sitting a reading their hockey cards with them thinking “oh, my word, not more hockey cards!” but that was their interest at the time and I wanted them to know that no matter their interest, it would be my interest also. It has really paid off.
Our speech and language teacher used to come to the Resource Room and do a whole group lesson with all of the kids- not just her caseload- and really she had the best communication activities. The kids loved it and everyone benefited.
kristin mccarthy recently posted…I Am A Swim Mom: Hear Me Roar
I love these suggestions! My own kids are all older, but I used to make them read me the food packages when we were preparing foods. Then we would discuss the things in the foods we eat, how they are made, etc. Now I use daily journals with my four kids 7-12. It is part of their after school activities, to do homework, and then write me a paragraph about their day. I then write one back to them, and we discuss it at bedtime.
Great tips!
Great post! Veer feels the same way about Hindi that you do. He knows it, but is shy to speak it.
Great communication acticities for kids. Going to try a couple more of these for both V and J.
Thanks Div.
I get genuinely excited when I cross paths with EatTeachBlog! Thanks for another great post. Yes! Yes! Yes! to everything you wrote here. I am an EL teacher who fiercely and passionately loves and advocates for my kids. The Communication Activities you listed are a great resource for parents, OT’s teachers and more. Thank you for all you do for children 🙂
That engagement is so important! I think getting them to think critically is key too. Love this.
Great ideas for communicating! We used to love to play hide and seek or look at books together (searching of ratings in the pictures!)
Great tips and ideas on communicating with our children, God bless you
This is an awesome post! It’s refreshing to see other parents are still doing this as well. Although I don’t have any children, I remember moving up a grade because my grandmother used the majority of these communication methods. Will be subscribing!
These are great tips. Both of our boys are bi-lingual and communication has played a HUGE part in getting them to where they are now!
Thank you for this great reminder of why talking and interacting (and how we do this) with our children is so important. It helps not only with communication in general, but with the willingness to keep the line of communication open between you.
P.S., I work at a Special Education school so will stay in tune with your blog!
Kristin O’Ferrall recently posted…My Pantry Organizational Re-do
I enjoyed reading this. I only know one language (English) and I’m still bad at that. So I get a little jealous of those that are bilingual. When my kids were younger and learning to read and write. I did karaoke with them as they had to read the words and sing them. They improved in not only reading but in writing through play.
I love that you use your fluency and language struggles as an illustration because I think adults forget so easily that just because as child had learned something means they’ve mastered it. Language is seriously complex. It’s so important to be patient with kids in every area, and definitely with language. I’m soaking up this post and putting it into action with my one year old.
Oooo so many fun ideas!!! I love playing games with my daughter. We always end up having a blast!
These are all really effective strategies for developing language! Another one kids love (and is lots of fun) is singing songs and nursery rhymes 😉
Dominique recently posted…What’s a Balanced Translocation?
This is a great post and I will definitely keep these things in mind when I have kids someday! I wish you felt more comfortable speaking in Hindi, but everything you said makes a lot of sense. Thanks for a great article
Love this! Mine are just one, so I do a lot of modeling how to play and I’m always shocked when they copy me! granted they don’t do it perfectly, they do catch on!
Great post. I don’t have kids, but I do work with them as a soccer coach. I’m not sure if it’s the same at home, but there is something about the soccer field that makes most adults think that they are dealing with little adults and not children.
I should clarify, I don’t mean foul language (though that is not true of all parents). But soccer has specific terms – ‘space’ being a big one. I’ll hear adults asking kids to find space. Depending on the kid, space is where the aliens live! then said adult gets upset when they don’t understand.
Effective communication with kids is vital on helping them achieve the potential and becoming more educated in matters.
I shared this on my facebook page and tagged people who can benefit from reading tools fund in this wonderful writing. I love the key ingredient: communicate often with them. Loved it.
You know me and my kids we play I spy whenever we go for a long trip. This is a great post , thank you for sharing.
Anna recently posted…6 Benefits of Drinking Apple Cider Vinegar
As a mother and a teacher I am a huge advocate for making sure my boys and my students communicate effectively. I am constantly making sure they can articulate what they think to ensure they are comfortable when sharing their thoughts with others. I appreciate this post because it is very important to teach our children early how to communicate.
Hi, It was a great blog, the tips were nice. My daughter speaks in English in school. But, in Family and in the presence of relatives and freinds she hasitate to speak in English. If someone tries still she continues in Hindi. I dont mind her speaking in Hindi. It’s just I wish to get her more confidence for English language. I will try to use these tips you shared.
Thanks
Twinkle recently posted…I Had a Normal Delivery. But I Suffered These Problems For Many, Many Days
As a new Mom, I often felt like I was suddenly in a foreign immersion program and knew not one word of my child’s language. You never realize how important vocabulary is! I learned baby sign language and the next thing I knew, my baby and I were actually communicating! The frustration was gone for both my daughter and I. You are so right, we are going to communicate in whichever way is the most natural and efficient for us. As an ESL teacher, I have done play “grocery shopping” as you suggested so that second language students had context and felt comfortable. Great tips!
Brittany Ferrell recently posted…5 Awesome Beach Reads to Warm Up Your Winter
When our kids were younger, we made it a point to speak with them during all outings and had them explain vs. getting upset and having tantrums. Being able to communicate is an important life skill.
MomJonz recently posted…A Mom’s Trip Down Memory Lane Of Toys For 3 Years Olds
There are some really great tips here… I especially like the one about talking about everything at the grocery store. It makes me feel like less of an idiot for strolling through the store and chatting constantly to a baby that does not respond to me, haha.
I am a language teacher and I have a daughter. Nowadays education is a big challenge for all parents. Great post!