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The Diet Game: What Questions Should You Ask Yourself Before You Jump In?

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If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.
Chinese Proverb

Each year, 45 million Americans spend an estimated $33 billion on weight loss products, programs, and services. (And when we include mainstream products such as diet soda in this calculation, the estimate jumps to roughly $60 billion.) More striking than this incredible level of spending, however, is the realization that, for many of us, it all occurs automatically.

This fact was made obvious to me when a student taking part in a workshop I once led, on the topic of mindful eating in college, seemed at a total loss when I asked the group how they had first decided to diet.

The young woman raised her hand and politely asked, “Do you mean, How did we decide which diet to follow?”

“Oh, thanks for asking,” I clarified, “but I actually meant, How did you first decide to diet at all.”

She looked back at me, wide-eyed, and paused, then said, “To be completely honest, it never really occurred to me that I had a choice.“

And she, I expect, is in very good company.

When it comes to dieting, it’s not that we lack intelligence or basic common sense; we’ve simply forgotten we have a say in the matter. We reach a point, determined by some specific factor (e.g., a number on the scale, the way our clothes fit, comparison to others’ bodies, pressure or comments from those around us) or by a vague sense that we ought to be dieting, and we propel ourselves into a universe of choices regarding which approach to dieting is best.

That is, we jump straight from feeling that we should diet, to deciding which diet is for us, and we skip the critical question of if we even want to diet entirely.

If you find yourself at such a point– you feel you should be dieting, you’ve found a diet to follow, and you’re about to take the plunge— do yourself a favor…

…and ask these 3 questions:

1. What are the rules of the game?

Most people experience a sort of high when embarking on a new way of life, be it religion, hobby, or health habit. It’s natural to get caught up in the compelling promises and ideological principles of a new venture, but before you dive headlong into a diet, take a moment to get really specific.

When you break it all down to its most basic elements, what are the rules of this diet? Is there a built-in time frame (e.g., 90-day system, 30-day challenge, 2 weeks to a leaner, meaner you)? Are there guidelines for how much you can eat, and when? Will you be adding new foods into your day? Cutting out others? Does this diet dictate the conditions under which you’ll be eating (e.g., with a certain size plate or utensils; raw or cooked only above/below a certain temperature; never after a certain hour of the day)? How does it all sound to you?

2. How great are the stakes?

From financial investment to personal sacrifice to the risk (in some cases) of harm, diets ask much of you. It’s only reasonable that you be allowed some demands of your own. What are the potential costs (e.g., time, money, safety, well-being) of taking part in this diet? What does this diet promise in exchange for your participation? Will this diet require you to modify your interactions with friends or coworkers? Will it ask you to change the way your family eats? Or the way you talk about food and weight in front of your children?

Consider these questions, then be honest:

How do you feel about the answers?

Your involvement with any diet product, program, or service is entirely dependent upon whether you decide it’s right for you.

So get clear about what’s on the line, and then determine if the potential benefits are worth any of the risks. Be diligent in your analysis; this is not the time to settle.

3. When is it time to quit?

If you’re at the point at which you’ve committed yourself to a diet, it’s essential that you also determine the conditions under which you will walk away from that diet. Doing so not only forces you to maintain laser-focus on what you hope to achieve; it also empowers you to set clear boundaries around your time/energy/resources/safety, and to protect yourself should those boundaries be breached.

So, decide right now:

How long will you continue this diet if you don’t see the results it promises? What (expected or unexpected) side effects of this diet are you willing to tolerate? How much energy are you willing to spend planning, prepping for, and following this diet? How much money?

These questions are helpful not only in deciding when to quit an existing diet, but also in deciding whether to begin one in the first place. In either case, the choice is ultimately yours.

And there are many factors you could consider:

You could consider the fact that an overwhelming majority of weight-focused diets fail to produce lasting results. Or that the weight cycling experienced by chronic dieters poses serious risks to cardiovascular health. Or that participation in weight-focused dieting is a leading predictor of eating disorder development.

You could remind yourself that accepting your body (just as it is today, without any attempt to change it through dieting) is a totally viable and powerful option. Or that there is mounting evidence that real benefits can come from making non-weight-focused lifestyle changes to what you eat and how you move. Or that perhaps your mental, physical, and financial resources might be more usefully directed toward a cause other than weight loss.

Click here for your Free Love Your Body Playbook

Just a thought.

But it’s a thought that, as illustrated by that bright and conscientious student, simply doesn’t occur to most of us, most of the time.

I won’t wrap this up with an impassioned plea to shun all diets forever. You’re the boss of your own life and that’s an incredible gift. (Besides, it would be more than a bit hypocritical to conclude a post about making your own informed decisions by foisting my values upon you.)

So, please, by all means: Gather up the information you need, evaluate your options, then have at it!

Just know that when it comes to health and happiness, there are countless ways to get there, countless games you could play. Dieting is one of the most appealingly packaged and well-marketed games, sure.

But it’s not the only game in town.

And even if it feels like the whole world is playing, this doesn’t mean you have to.

Your move.

About the Author: Michaela Bucchianeri is a freelance writer living in the Twin Cities. She holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has studied, researched, and taught body image and mental health principles for over a decade. She writes about these and other topics related to living a full and vibrant life at Wild & Precious.

This post was initially published on Wild & Precious. 

You can also find Michaela on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

 

 

Comments

    • Exactly, Nabeeda. Total autopilot mode! (Kind of scary, isn’t it?) The good news is that we DO in fact have a choice, and we get to exercise our right to that choice over and over, each time we’re presented with an opportunity to believe, buy, or promote a diet product/program/service. Thanks for reading!
      Michaela @ Wild & Precious recently posted…THE SELF-CARE SPREEMy Profile

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    • Yes, Julie! Rarely do we set out to be on diets forever… it almost always starts with a very reasonable goal, like your example. Most diets are initially marketed as a way to meet that goal, or to “get back on track”. Unfortunately, the means to get there aren’t sustainable (financially, physically, emotionally, etc.) so the vast majority of us “fail” the diet and blame ourselves, even though they were never meant to work long-term in the first place! Thanks for reading!
      Michaela @ Wild & Precious recently posted…THE SELF-CARE SPREEMy Profile

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    • Heidi, I agree completely. We’re programmed to just accept that weight loss is an valid goal in and of itself, but rarely do we pause to consider what motivations lie *beneath* that. I find it helpful to finish the sentence: “If I lose weight, then I will _____________.” If the first answer is something like “feel better about myself” then I try to go a step deeper (e.g., “If I feel better about myself, then I will ____________”) and see what comes up. Usually, we can each go several steps deeper until we reach something fundamental, like “…then I will be loved and accepted.” The question then becomes: How can I find a way to be loved and accepted right NOW, without needing to change a thing about myself. Thanks for reading!

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  5. Great post! I’m not really a fan of fad diets, or diets of any sort. I tend to call my weight loss program diet sometimes, but that’s just a good way to explain it sometimes, but it’s more than that. It really IS a lifestyle change, even if that sounds corny to some. I’m doing it through a hospital so I’m getting help and feedback and I know that I’m being healthy and not hurting my body.
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    • Great point, Mag: Diets can carry many different meanings, can’t they? (I once read that the original root of the word “diet” translates to “a way of life” or “a day’s journey”. A much gentler, more beautiful way to think about food, if you ask me!) Wishing you nothing but good health. Thanks for reading!
      Michaela @ Wild & Precious recently posted…THE SELF-CARE SPREEMy Profile

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  8. This is a very insightful way to approach dieting. Too often we jump into the next fad diet without taking time to check in with ourselves. Thanks for reminding us to press pause!

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  9. This is really interesting. I’d also add that one of the questions on when to stop should be, “At what weight SHOULD you stop?” Dieting can be dangerous from the standpoint that it can become a bit of a “drug.” Last year I was in the throes of dieting for almost a year, and I lost weight to a point that I shouldn’t have. Getting back to a healthy weight and having a healthy relationship with food was actually harder for me than dieting ever was. It’s something I struggle with still. So my advice to anyone dieting would be to definitely think about what you’re doing and what you’re willing to go through. Also, have someone as your support system and buddy in your journey. It is helpful!
    Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries recently posted…10 Things We’re Loving Online | MayMy Profile

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    • Thank you for your comment, Corey. One of the most insidious features of the “diet mentality” is that the lines between healthy and harmful can become blurred. Because weight is highlighted in our culture as THE best indicator of health, those who wish to “get healthy” can inadvertently find themselves fixated on that number, becoming increasingly detached from other cues that they might be hurting themselves. I look forward to a shift away from such an intense focus on weight in our culture. Until then, I think we’d each be wise to pay attention to the ways our body is trying to communicate with us. And, as you suggest, to surround ourselves with plenty of unconditional support. Wishing you all the best!
      Michaela @ Wild & Precious recently posted…THE SELF-CARE SPREEMy Profile

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  12. You are so right about many people just jumping into a diet blind without thinking about many of the things that go into it. I am working on a 12 week program that the first few weeks are nothing but planning and getting in the right mindset. It isn’t really a diet but a mindset shift which is better overall.

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  13. I tried dieting before, when I was a teenager. It was of course, just to be “in” the skinny crowd. However, my body did not like that at all and I got sick. I learned that it is in portion control and increased physical activity that would keep my weight down. Since then and until now, that is what I have been doing.

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  14. I find the word diet comes with a lot of negativity. To lose weight or make healthy changes, one must have a lifestyle change. Or else it is binging and nothing sticks.

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    • Thanks for reading, Gingermommy. When deciding what’s best for ourselves, sometimes the simplest questions can be the most useful: WHAT change am I trying to make? WHY am I trying to make it? What will life be like IF I make this change? How can I experience that life right NOW? Wishing you well!
      Michaela @ Wild & Precious recently posted…THE SELF-CARE SPREEMy Profile

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  15. Great article. Luckily I don’t have any problems with my weight as I am still trying to gain more weight. A few pounds more and I’ll be great.

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