Baby M: Four Months Old

To our dearest Ishu,

Every time I sit down to write these monthly posts, I’m blown away at how much can happen in a month.

It feels like this month, in particular, you’ve developed so many new skills and behaviors. You’ve become the most entertaining kid on the block. (Well, we wouldn’t know, because #quarantinelife and we don’t know our neighbors, but we’re just going to assume that, yes, you are the coolest kid in town).

This month, so much has happened and I’m not quite sure one blog post alone can capture it all. But, don’t worry, we all have a zillion pictures and videos that you can, someday, look back on.

During this past month, you’ve made quite a few trips to Newport Beach to hang out with your Nanu, Nani, and Bade Nani. You’re pretty decent for about half the trip but when you wake up, you are NOT DOWN to be in your car seat anymore. Especially when the pacifier falls out of your mouth. However, there ARE times when you’ll pull the paci out of your mouth and, somehow, you manage to pop it back in on your own. (It’s more luck than skill at this point, but, still, we’re very impressed every time it happens).

You’ve started to love bath time (as long as we don’t spend TOO much time on your hair). You love it most when we put your floatie around your neck and let you kick, kick, kick. It’s funny to watch how you push off the sides of the tub with your feet. Like you somehow know that it’ll get you to the other side faster than kicking alone.

On land, you’re still kicking your feet real hard any time you’re excited about something. Lately that’s been: your reflection in the mirror, reading a colorful book, Scout the green bear, and any time your mama and papa make silly faces and sounds at you.

You’ve become an expert at tummy time. Particularly when we pop a mirror in front of you. Or, better yet, your pacifier. A little reinforcement, am I right?

You’ve started to GIGGLE. It eventually turns into a squeal. But, my God, when you giggle, it is the most beautiful sound ever.

Sometimes, when you’re in your bassinet or your swing, I’ll come near you and put my hands out like I’m about to pick you up. You don’t quite know how to lift your arms up yet, but you start kicking real hard and your arms go wild. All while you’ve got the biggest smile on your face. I love it so much that sometimes I’ll walk back out of the room and walk back in all over again so I can watch you get excited one more time.

You’ve discovered that your voice has inflection. Sometimes, we’ll wake up and you’ll be in your bassinet trying out different noises – raising and lowering your pitch.

Other times we’ll catch you in your bassinet doing a little yoga. Yup, you can now grab onto both of your feet and it’s just the sweetest thing the way your body curls up like no big deal.

You really like watching the tree right outside the family room window in our apartment. Something about the leaves moving in the wind captures your attention and you can stare at it constantly.

Your Nanu is really eager for you to start solids. He’ll try to pop an itty-bitty piece of banana or a mango peel in your mouth every once in a while to see what you think of it. So far, things just sit on your tongue because you’re not quite sure what to do with it. Mama’s milk is the only thing you want right now. Still, when you watch us eat something, your tongue goes in and out, in and out. As if you’re practicing for when the time comes!

You got a head start on that whole 4-month sleep regression thing. You used to want to be left alone to fall asleep on your own and now you scream when we walk away from you. Before this month, I was convinced that I could give up coffee. Now, not so much. You’re keeping us on our toes, you little one.

But, somehow, despite the fact that we’re running low on sleep, you energize us in so many other ways.

Your smiles, your squeals, your GIGGLES. You give us life. And, somehow, (I still can’t wrap my head around this), I gave you life.

There are so many times I’ll be sitting with you and I study your little body. Your birth marks. Your smooth skin. The little lines on your palm. You grew all of those things inside of me. And, even though you’re out here now, my body is still growing your body. It is the most magical, most miraculous thing in the world.

I always knew I would love being a mama. I just had no idea how much I would love being your mama.