I do a recap of the year. Every year.

I break it down by month. Including all of our big and small moments, trips we’ve taken, things that we’ve celebrated.

I link blog posts from throughout the year so that when we revisit the post, I can see what we’ve accomplished and survived and manifested. (Here’s 2022. And 2021. For reference).

I usually start this post before Christmas because it takes quite a bit of time to reflect on the year. Feel the feels. Look through all the photos.

And yet, here we are.

It’s somehow 2024.

I haven’t reflected on 2023.

I haven’t thought about what I want 2024 to look like.

There has been little down time to do any of those things.

So, how about, future Divya, when you look back at this year’s recap, you read these words and remember these things. You had a baby. You turned your family of 3 into a family of 4. Your sleep was shit.

But you have two beautiful boys.

Your apartment is always a disaster. At any given moment, there are dishes in the sink, toys strewn all over the floor, and you’re one “NO!” away from an emotional breakdown. Your gray hairs are multiplying (as are the random trinkets that Ishaan has deemed the most precious things he’ll ever own (including a rock he found where the dogs pee, a macadamia nut that he thinks is his ‘money,’ and three broken slinkies he got from grab bags). You lose your patience. Say things you wish you could take back. And, sometimes you feel so much ANGER bubbling inside because your three year old is not thinking rationally. Because, yeah, he’s 3.

And yet, your baby looks at you like you are the single most important thing in the world.

Your 3-year old accepts your apologies and still wants to snuggle up close to you at night.

It is a hard year. Probably the hardest you’ve ever had.

And there are small little beautiful moments everywhere. As if to remind you that all is not shit.

Your life is revolving around these two boys right now.

Everyone keeps telling you that you will miss these years. You will miss the mess, the chaos, the stickiness.

Sometimes it helps to hear those words. And sometimes it’s the most maddening thing in the world.

Because when you’re in the middle of the tornado, you don’t need someone to tell you, “Appreciate every moment!”

AND YET.

There are so many moments to appreciate.

So, let’s just say, this year’s recap is a bit different.

Because ain’t nobody have time to make it a whole thing.

2023 was HARD. And sad at times. And oh-so-joyful at other times. It was challenging and humbling and messy and sticky and dirty and clumsy and lovely and all the things.

Bring on 2024.

I guess it’s already been brought.

But, okay, I’m ready now.