I’ve been in and out of sleep since about 3:15am.
Riyu and I do this little bit the second half of the night where he wakes up pouting and saying, “DUDU,” and I gently push him off of me and say, “NINI.” Back and forth, back and forth.
Then he pouts harder. And then it turns into a cry. And then, of course, he wins and I end up nursing him back to sleep. But like, basically nonstop from 3-6am.
So, that’s fun.
At least, with Ishu, we could use the pacifier.
Riyu never got interested in a paci (not for lack of trying. I *still* keep one around, just in case. Ha).
Anyway, now that my human alarm has gone off (despite my trying to hit ‘snooze’ over and over again), I’m going to take advantage of the quiet morning and show up here to ramble.
I started to fall prey to the breaking news alerts I had missed, but I pulled myself back. In the words of a sweet friend of mine, “I turned those off….possible I’m sticking my head in the sand today. But I’ll consume with care when I’m ready.”
I just can’t believe how much was thrown at us yesterday.
AND.
I don’t have to consume it all in one go.
Ankur and I just finished watching the second Hunger Games and I think it’s pretty crazy how much of DT I see in President Snow. Enjoying a spectacle at the cost of humanity.
It’s possible I’m keeping my kid home another day from school. Using the cold as an excuse. But maybe there’s this subconscious part of me that wants my babies close to me right now.
Yesterday, I ripped into Ishu for trying to turn our couch into a house. He already built a house in our living room – made up of our Nugget and three cardboard boxes. And he tried to turn our couch into a house as well. Which, normally, is inconvenient but not something that really bothers me. Especially on a cold day when we’re stuck inside.
But.
I had just finished doom scrolling through all these stupid executive orders and I turned around as he was pulling cushions off the couch.
And felt SO MUCH RAGE come over my body.
I was not kind. Holding my ground that the couch WOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT BE A HOUSE, NO THANK YOU. I’M THE GROWNUP MY RULES.
And, well, I just don’t think I’m the best parent when I am not consciously and intentionally taking in information.
Anyway, I will be turning my news alerts back off for the next four years.
Alright, time for some coffee and some reading.
Happy Onyx Day to those of you who celebrate. (I still haven’t read Iron Flame, so I’m not there yet. But I do appreciate that this came out on Inauguration Day so you could quite literally escape to Fantasy Land on a day that feels so hard for so many).
